What Is Love?

 

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I have written about many emotions but the basic emotion, which we are born with, which we crave for in all its forms has escaped my attention or I have consciously avoided it.

Probably I know very less about it.

I have written a few lines about ‘Eternal Love ‘and ‘Unknown Love’ but it is easier to write poetry and leave much to the imagination and interpretation of the reader. Many times imagery conveys all we want to say.

When my dearest friend Zeenat Merchant Syal @ Positiveprovocations invited me to contribute my thoughts to a mega post on love, I realized I have never written about love – the most coveted emotion!

I had to go back in time to answer a host of questions that swarmed up around me.

Why has love been such a petrifying emotion for me?

I can relate so much to one of the protagonists of my stories…the little girl who yearned only in her dreams, alone.

She could never share her emotions and aspirations and hurts.

She only watched and absorbed. Is that I?

Love for her was just a passing thought, a mirage that could only be seen in the movies. It was not real. It was never around her. She could never touch or feel it.

A hug or an endearing word was not meant for her.

The society in which she lived didn’t give any importance to expressing it openly. Falling in love was equivalent to falling in a well. Romantic love was offensive. Sex was a repugnant word!

Love was caring for others but only those who were valuable to the society.

Love was sacrifice…giving all your time and effort for the welfare of others.

Love was thinking what she was expected to think.

Love was listening and complying with all the diktats of the family and the society.

Self-love was taboo. It was being selfish.

Till she realized love is much more than all this, which had been drilled into her mind. Till she decided to break free and get access to free thoughts.

Till she realized love is an invisible force that can transcend all the barriers.

Till she found true love… Till she came across what Leo Buscaglia says: “Love is life…and if you miss love, you miss life.”

True love quote
Image credit

When you are restricted to think and express yourself freely, you get accustomed to a certain behavior, which is hard to alter. So the exquisite emotion of love got lost in those oppressive man-made alleys of sanctimoniousness.

I am glad my favorite protagonist has helped me understand why I couldn’t fathom such a beautiful word.

Love is a natural instinct that grows if it is nurtured. It evolves itself but withers if it is not watered with affection, care, respect and kindness. Romantic love morphs into a loving and eternal relationship if we understand what is love; why passion is such a sweet word.

Love is a much wider term… encompassing friendship, family and bonding.

Recently a very old friend and neighbor called me, excited beyond words to explain how he found my number, why he still values my friendship and yearns to meet me to renew those memories! He didn’t even know my name, all he could remember was my nickname. I know that is certainly ‘love!’

“Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and a richness to life that nothing else can bring.” –Oscar Wilde

Have you explored the positive power of love? Did it enrich your life? I am eagerly waiting for your answers.

Thank you for reading this. Your support is immensely appreciated.

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Balroop Singh.

There Are Various Definitions Of Happiness, Which One Appeals To You?

Happiness

I have often been confused by the notion of happiness. I have tried to equate it with contentment and have found it to be its synonym.

I have also linked it with ‘our passion’ because when we try to follow what our heart says we experience that special feeling, which is probably ‘happiness’.

I have never tried those ecstatic moments, which make you fly to seventh heaven. I have only heard and read about them.

Comprehending a simple word – ‘happiness’ is quite complex.

One thing I am sure of is that when a long-standing desire gets fulfilled, it is certainly a moment of happiness but it may not lead us to eternal happiness, which lies in our heart, mind and thoughts.

Initial imprints:

I must be in high school when I read ‘The Enchanted Shirt’ by John Hay.

This shirt was recommended for a king who could not get well despite all the medicines, which were prescribed by the royal doctors. The king’s men traveled far and wide to find a ‘happy man’ so that they could borrow his shirt to make their king healthy and happy.

The man who seemed to be happy was requested to give his shirt. The happy man confessed that he didn’t have a shirt!

The depth of the message, which this poem carried didn’t register in my mind at that time but there was something, which percolated deep down, as this poem immediately comes to my mind whenever the word ‘happy’ is mentioned.

“The secret of happiness is to admire without desiring.” – Carl Sandburg

Gauging happiness:

I have tried to scale the boundaries of ‘happiness’ many times from various directions and I have always found great solace in breaking it up into syllables:

H hope   (to)
A accomplish
P pervasive
P peace   (and)
I incorporate
N necessary
E endeavor   (for)
S spontaneous
S serenity

Observations:

I have also tried to observe how happiness visits us uninvited:

A child can find joy in little moments of skipping in water or blowing bubbles.

The ecstatic moments of a lover are in the arms of his beloved.

A mother’s bliss lies in the delightful face and little accomplishments of her child.

A hungry person can find pleasure in simple food.

For a sick person, the charm of getting well and walking again is supreme.

The elderly seek good health and company to be happy.

But these are fleeting moments of joy. Happiness is eternal albeit it is made up of such little moments. They promote wellbeing. They nourish mental health. They keep the hope of brighter days alive.

The definition of happiness is as divergent as that of success.

Happiness quote

This is what the experts and the great thinkers say: (an adapted version)

Happiness is perceptive. It is like a cloud that keeps vanishing.

It is determined by our own disposition.

Happiness is harmony with our thoughts…a spiritual journey.

It is breaking the chains of your mind and let it soar.

Happiness is a choice. You have to create your own ways to be happy.

It keeps changing with time and space.

Happiness must be cultivated; chasing it takes us nowhere.

It is a profound feeling of contentment and knowledge that all the blessings of life are around us, only if we can perceive them.

Happiness blossoms in the hearts of those who respect and value relationships.

It could be sitting in your home and you didn’t notice it.

I had written a poem ‘The Valley Of Happiness’ in one of my most intense and gloomy moments. You may like to read it.

Thank you for reading this. Your support is immensely appreciated. Please share your views about this much discussed and stimulating topic.

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Balroop Singh.

 

 

Know Shadows

 

Know Shadows

You can click on Sublime Shadows of Life by Balroop Singh to read more such poems.

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…And I Was Alive!

Refulgent rainbow in my garden
Stood with open arms
Eager to embrace me
Mesmerized by its glowBlissful moments
I gave in…

It carried me far
Into the land of unknown
A wonderfully brilliant world
Of clouds and colors

A magnificent monolithic arch
Spreading colorful confetti
Ecstatic I looked around
To ensure that I was alive

Blithe Breeze ruffled my hair
Beckoning me to joyously join
The realm of shimmering love
Of boundless freedom and fun

Moments of celestial bliss…
The fetters of attachment fell
The masks melted instinctively
Prejudices tumbled out of hearts

I wish I could stay longer
I wish I could carry some glimmer
Some sparks of light, love and harmony
To enhance the beauty of my planet.
© Balroop Singh.

You can click on Sublime Shadows of Life by Balroop Singh to read more such poems.

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9 Ways To Knock Off Arrogance

 

ArroganceI have already written about arrogance and how it can be harmful for us. If you haven’t read those posts and want to start from the beginning, you can click on the following links:

How Arrogance Can Harm Your Personality

Seven Secrets Of Arrogance

Why Arrogant People Don’t Have Friends

Arrogance becomes detrimental when we accept it as an essential part of our personality. Can arrogance be divested? It may be quite challenging but not impossible.

ARROGANCE…the word that conjures up negative images, the word whose connotation is often misconstrued, the word, which scares us without even touching us!

My experiences with arrogance have taught me some profound lessons. The day I tried to break it into small pieces and deal with it syllable by syllable, this is what I discovered:

We can turn it around into a positive word:

ArroganceThat is how you can revert arrogance, which is very much in your own hands.

Nobody except the arrogant can change himself or herself.

Only our inner voice can impel us towards change. When an arrogant person decides to develop humility, he or she has to overcome self-perpetuated attitude of being supreme.

It is the ego, which accentuates arrogance. When we recognize the power of self-effacement, we can accomplish a positive change in our personalities. Often we don’t make any such effort. We get so accustomed to riding the high sea that it carries us far into the realms of selfishness.

The solution lies in dropping the sails and anchoring our conceit.

Acceptance and respect are the two key words for exorcising the demonic powers of arrogance. When we start respecting others as equal human beings with same kinds of desires and emotions, when we start understanding that they too have a tender heart and get hurt by our outbursts, we begin to comprehend the subtle influence of being compassionate.

Compassion comes very slowly and only if we decide to expunge egotistical traits, which dominate arrogance.

The roots of arrogance lie elsewhere, probably in childhood or upbringing and therefore it is very essential to visit those corridors and make peace with those experiences, which are no longer relevant.

If you didn’t receive love and care in your childhood, you can’t bridge that gap now, if you crave for certain moments to return to soothe your soul, they can’t. If you were bullied and you are hiding behind arrogance to cover it up, you have to break that shell and come out.

We can embellish our personality at any stage of our life.

Read more about personality enhancement in my book.

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Thank you for reading this. Please add your valuable comments, they are much appreciated.

Balroop Singh.