I have always dared, dared to speak out my mind, dared to take my own decisions, dared to quit whenever I wanted to.
It was not easy and it wasn’t permitted. Yes! Permissions have to be taken… sadly at each and every aspect of life!
People like to hold you back because they want to control you; they could be insecure or jealous. They restrict your decisions to remain all-important in your life. You like to listen to them thinking they could be right, they could be your well-wishers but the reality could be quite different and you may never even know what made them hold you back from pursuing your own dreams, taking your own decisions and acquiring confidence.
Self belief:
There was a time when I didn’t trust myself but a strong self-belief kept me going till I discovered all the distrust factors were external, that they were not my own fears, they were created. When the realization dawned, I was amazed at my strength and conviction.
Intuition:
There is no doubt that it built over the years but all those controlling factors endowed me with an intuition beyond imagination. They contributed to my fortitude and determination to forge ahead.
Decisiveness:
I dared to resign my first job out of my own desire to set up my home and look after my child. I did that for my own happiness but it took me far beyond…I could spend blissful moments with my child, nurturing her impressionable years, adding joy to her infancy with my presence and those memorable moments stand before me now and smile at my scoffers who condemned my irresponsible decision of quitting a very secure job.
Candor:
I could never wear a mask to please others; I could never pay a compliment if the words didn’t emerge from my heart; I could never be pressurized to follow the crowd.
I would reiterate that it is not easy. You get disliked and judged, people assume you are arrogant and may even shun you. My mettle steered me through those challenges and I could find some gems in the form of loving friends who understand me and admire me for what I am.
Resilience:
I was never ashamed of my critics. I learnt from them not to judge without really understanding people.
I didn’t flinch when people picked on me; tried to bully me into believing what they think was right. I learnt to be kind and empathetic.
I refused to show my tears to the world for treating me harshly. I learnt to be resilient and shared my agonies with the trusted few.
I poured my heart into poetry and got acquainted with another aspect of my own self, lying latent within me.
I emerged stronger than my own self and was amazed at the power we have within us to deal with the tribulations of life.
All because I dared and I am proud of that.
Balroop Singh.
Emotional Shadows 