9 Ways To Knock Off Arrogance

 

ArroganceI have already written about arrogance and how it can be harmful for us. If you haven’t read those posts and want to start from the beginning, you can click on the following links:

How Arrogance Can Harm Your Personality

Seven Secrets Of Arrogance

Why Arrogant People Don’t Have Friends

Arrogance becomes detrimental when we accept it as an essential part of our personality. Can arrogance be divested? It may be quite challenging but not impossible.

ARROGANCE…the word that conjures up negative images, the word whose connotation is often misconstrued, the word, which scares us without even touching us!

My experiences with arrogance have taught me some profound lessons. The day I tried to break it into small pieces and deal with it syllable by syllable, this is what I discovered:

We can turn it around into a positive word:

ArroganceThat is how you can revert arrogance, which is very much in your own hands.

Nobody except the arrogant can change himself or herself.

Only our inner voice can impel us towards change. When an arrogant person decides to develop humility, he or she has to overcome self-perpetuated attitude of being supreme.

It is the ego, which accentuates arrogance. When we recognize the power of self-effacement, we can accomplish a positive change in our personalities. Often we don’t make any such effort. We get so accustomed to riding the high sea that it carries us far into the realms of selfishness.

The solution lies in dropping the sails and anchoring our conceit.

Acceptance and respect are the two key words for exorcising the demonic powers of arrogance. When we start respecting others as equal human beings with same kinds of desires and emotions, when we start understanding that they too have a tender heart and get hurt by our outbursts, we begin to comprehend the subtle influence of being compassionate.

Compassion comes very slowly and only if we decide to expunge egotistical traits, which dominate arrogance.

The roots of arrogance lie elsewhere, probably in childhood or upbringing and therefore it is very essential to visit those corridors and make peace with those experiences, which are no longer relevant.

If you didn’t receive love and care in your childhood, you can’t bridge that gap now, if you crave for certain moments to return to soothe your soul, they can’t. If you were bullied and you are hiding behind arrogance to cover it up, you have to break that shell and come out.

We can embellish our personality at any stage of our life.

Read more about personality enhancement in my book.

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Thank you for reading this. Please add your valuable comments, they are much appreciated.

Balroop Singh.

 

 

How Unspoken Words Harm Our Personality And Relationships

Unspoken words

A spoken word is better than those, which are kept within the heart. Unspoken words keep struggling; they create negative images in the minds of people who want to hear them and who keep suppressing them.

The words we can’t say, observes John Geddes “are the holes I punch in the walls of my psyche…” They keep growing deeper and wider with time. The unspoken words keep falling into those holes and it becomes hard to retreat them.

Unspoken words hurt. They hurt not only you, as they are emotionally strenuous but they are painful for those too who expect them to be shared. The silence keeps growing with each passing day till it becomes a habit.

You keep burying all your secrets, all the plans, even those well-intentioned ideas within your mind and when they tumble out, they provoke an untold psychological trauma for your own loved ones.

They wonder what is their role in failing to get closer to you; they start doubting their own love and misunderstandings start budding. They can never get sorted out if words remain unspoken.

Unspoken words carry emotional baggage. When feelings and emotions are not shared, they create an unknown wedge between relationships. They breed anger and angst and there is no limit to these negative emotions.

Non-communication can lead to serious rifts and it is one of the major reasons of drifting apart. Emotions need an outlet, a channel that makes them flow spontaneously.

Emotional outbursts are better than carrying an emotional baggage.Unspoken words

Repressed emotions are like a volcano and unspoken words become a lid for them. I am sure you can understand what happens when a volcano bursts!

Unspoken words create negative energy, which keeps on multiplying as people wait for the right time to share their feelings. Such a time never comes, as the right time is that moment when you feel like saying something. Once you suppress those words, you become adept at doing so each time.

Negative thoughts often change our personality as we become skeptical. Even the right-minded people, the well-wishers seem threatening and we want to shove them out of our lives.

Unspoken words conceal your real personality. How do people know about you? It is only through our words that we share about various topics and issues that others form and opinion about us. Even introverts interact with words, which may be too less!

Unspoken words make us seem hypocritical. Others get an opportunity to judge our personality according to their own perspective. If we don’t make an effort to be friendly or nice, people draw their own conclusions about us, which may not be always accurate.

Why people hold words?

  •  They don’t want to hurt others
  • They want to hide their feelings
  • They may be having some secrets
  • They could have been snubbed in childhood
  • They could be cynical or hypocritical
  • They could have been trained to do so

You can understand very well that it is all about the molding of personality, which is influenced by various factors. Whatever the reason may be, unspoken words affect us eventually. They lead us to breaking down of ties; leave us rudderless in the sea of relationships.

Do you hold your words? Is there any other reason for that? I would love to hear your views.

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© Balroop Singh.

Why Are People So Insensitive?

InsensitivityDo you respect the feelings and emotions of others? Do you value the care and love of the dear members of your family? Why do some people choose to be indifferent and cold to our love and respect? Isn’t affection reciprocal?

These questions have troubled me many times and I have been trying to understand the reasons. Over the years of studying various persons and their demeanor, I have drawn some conclusions.

They may not be wholesome but they do offer some interpretations.

There are people who make you feel insignificant, who don’t respect your views, who try to belittle you. We all come across such people and sometimes we wonder what is their problem! Why is it so hard to impress them?

The reasons could be:

Insensitive people don’t care! Their own opinion, needs and self-esteem are so significant that they can’t think beyond that. They may not communicate it openly but their body language, their looks and their silence speaks volumes.

They lack emotional quotient: Emotional quotient is the ability to understand and handle our emotions in such a way that we appreciate the sentiments of others, learn with each step, each experience and move ahead, without getting emotionally scared or charged. Insensitive people are emotionally challenged. They cannot perceive or assimilate emotional vibes. They consider emotions to be superfluous and therefore they turn a blind eye to the affection of people around them.

They pick it up from family environment:  Our upbringing makes a gigantic difference in making us considerate, respectful and thoughtful. A family that nurtures the values of being reverential and selfless passes them on to posterity effortlessly. If selfishness and callousness is not checked at an early age; if some member of the family exhibits such traits, children unconsciously pick them up.

They are insecure and jealous: It is hard to believe but it is true! It is their own insecurity that makes people insensitive. Other members of the family seem to be their competitors. They tell themselves that there is no competition but actually they make it so in their own minds. They want all the attention, they want to impose their views and feel all-important. Some childhood insecurities could be driving their thoughts, which they choose to conceal.

They are selfish and self-centered: When we give top priority to our own interests, when we expect even our spouse and children to follow us in all our decisions, when we don’t see beyond our own desires and expectations, how can we develop sensitivity towards others? It doesn’t strike us that they may not like our choices and if it is pointed out, we tend to take offence.

They are puppets: Insensitive people are weak-minded and are usually controlled from behind. They tend to dance according to the tunes of their puppeteers as they have been conditioned to believe them blindly. All their sensitivity and loyalty leans towards their manipulators and they are likely to pick up the traits of those persons who could be their most respected mentors. They behave the way they have been told to, without using their own logic.

They learn to become manipulators: Those who do not react to manipulations aggressively absorb this conduct unconsciously and insensitivity is one such peculiarity. Insensitive people seem to have one-track mind. Since they have been brainwashed for a long time, they fail to recognize the emotional aspect of feelings and opinions.

Sensitivity

Are they incorrigible? It is very difficult to change such people as they consider themselves to be superior, their self-image is far better in their own eyes than what others consider them to be and they don’t want to be directed. They detest being told that they lack something. But that doesn’t mean we should not confront them. If we keep telling them that they need to rethink, that their demeanor is unacceptable, they might introspect and make some efforts to learn being sensitive.

While society immediately points a finger at insensitive remarks made against protected groups, this kind of behavior is often ignored in families.

You may like: How To Deal With Insensitive People

Do you know any insensitive persons? How do you react to them? Do you ignore their behavior? I would love to hear your views.

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Thank you for your support. Please share your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

Balroop Singh.

Pangs Of Change

Relationships never endRelationships
They take a new turn,
They move on…
Each relationship suffers
The pangs of inadvertent change

Change we all like yet distrust
A change initiated by us,
By our own loved ones
For those who grow dearer…
Forgetting former bonds

New perspectives, newer attitudes
Lead to shrinking of close ties
A slice of life drifts away
When they try to hide
What their voices betray

A heart-wrenching abyss of estrangement
Forms unintentionally
Long nurtured ties weaken
As people around you seem to change
Confused, you too may falter!

The hypocrisy of endearing words
Becomes hard to swallow
When the true emotions have melted
A look of disbelief, lingers
A stoic acceptance, the only choice!

Ah! the amiable attribute of acceptance
It calms all the emotions and keeps us grounded!

© Balroop Singh.

You can click on Sublime Shadows of Life by Balroop Singh to read more such poems.

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