I Don’t Like Her Yet She Taught Me Gratitude

gratitude

She came too early, poking me with her icy finger but I snuggled deeper into my bed, ignoring her presence. She kept creeping slowly into my bones till I was wide-awake. In no mood to pay any attention to her, I closed my eyes tightly, covered my ears sideways and pretended sleep.

I lay awake for almost an hour, opened my eyes and saw her lurking near my feet. It was still dark outside. I couldn’t fall asleep. Random thoughts and memories reminded me I must get hold of my book to shut them off. At last I had to surrender, grab my Kindle to calm my leaping mind.

I had hardly read a page when she froze my fingers, demonstrating her power and grip. Now was the time to seal her out! I could no longer be kind. I was amazed at the energetic reaction of my body, gathering immediate momentum. I got up with a jerk, throwing my comforter aside and closed the window.

When she refused to back off I walked out of the room to switch on the heat and felt triumphant for an instant. I jumped back into my side of the bed but by now my husband was awake, wondering what was going on.

He chuckled off my explanation and went back to his snoring mate.

I couldn’t concentrate on the book I was reading, an old classic. Provoked by the curiosity to know how people kept themselves warm in ancient times, I got up to retrieve my laptop from my study. She sat there, pounced on me instantly and wreaked her vengeance. I have been sneezing since then, with watery eyes and rivulets of water dripping from my nose.

She spoke to me in a very credible manner! My oldest foe, she reminded me how she had always wielded her power over me, how her advent had to be respected with caution or she could tip-toe into my life the moment I woke up to put my foot on the floor and how her sneezing gift was always ready for me.cold-quote

She vanished into thin air as I settled cozily on my couch, with my tea.

If an Early Man could jump out of the time machine, he would be bewildered at the comforts we have today…the central heating, the T.V. blaring out our favorite shows, ready-made foods on our shelves and endless other devices that connect us with the world in the fraction of a second!

Gratitude overwhelmed me at this moment and in my heart I thanked all those

  • Who had harnessed electricity
  • Who thought chimneys were messy and smoky
  • Who thought there could be better ways to keep us warm
  • Who worked industriously to create comforts around us
  • Who could design such well-equipped homes, in which the flip of a button could create warmth

We take many things for granted and comforts are one of them.

Modern children in metropolis can’t imagine a life without central air-conditioning. My nephew’s son visits his grandpa’s home in India every year. Once he happened to visit during the scorching heat of May and had an interesting question each time he had to go to the bathroom… “Why is the rest room so heated when the bedroom is so cool?”

He was too little to understand the meaning of gratitude and therefore his innocent queries were laughed off.

I think Thanksgiving is a good tradition to remind us that Mother Earth gives us most of all…light, love, water – the elixir of life, beauty and colors. Family get-togethers on this day emphasize the importance of love, relationships and harmony in our lives. Gratitude is a very small word to use for all the blessings around us, which make our life worth living.

Many such small incidents, which we dismiss as insignificant remind us of how thankful we should be. What are you grateful for?

Thank you for reading this. Please add your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

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Balroop Singh.


 

This Fall Is More Blissful

fall

The fall adds wings to my words
The soft swish of breeze carries them away
Floating down merrily, they smile at me
And dance around with glee.

The ‘J’ of joy, the ‘M’ of melancholy
The ‘S’ of solitude, the ‘T’ of twilight
The ‘H’ of hope, the ‘C’ of calmness
All merge into each other

Enhancing the beauty of brilliant decay
Colors of fall highlight each ray
Of sun to inspire thoughts of twilight
Of forbearance, of change, of new days

At night the frightening wind
Brings sweeping somber thoughts
Of chilly gusts, of lonely nights
A yearning yells at those sights…

To get away, to stay adrift, to disengage
All those memories glide softly back
Into those enclosed caskets
Never shall I excavate.

This fall I am burying them deeper
This fall is more buoyant, more blissful
The resilience rests on my brow
The happiness lives with me now

In my thoughts, in my loving home
In all seasons, even in this fall
It brings sweet memories of moments dear
My words fly now with the same cheer.

© Balroop Singh

All rights reserved.

One of my favorite poems, I am sharing it again as many of my new friends may not have not read it.

You can click on Sublime Shadows of Life by Balroop Singh to read more such poems.

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Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

When Grief Transports You Back…

friendsLast week I received shocking news, which transported me back into time…those pleasant days of sitting for hours in the company of friends, those carefree moments that seemed to suggest life is blissful. We basked in its glory, oblivious of the fact that we would go our own way, get busy with the nuances of life only to meet occasionally and that too if we made special efforts to synchronize our visits to our home city.

Time is ephemeral, but we keep drifting back into it whenever it exhibits its tyranny!

This tyrant snatched away those insouciant moments we still treasure. Ironically… it brings back those whiffs of friendly fragrance more at such times of bereavement.

Happier times pass by complacently, with the thoughts that all is well and we have all the time in the world to meet.

Could we ever imagine that a day will come when we would be far away from each other, yearning to be together in the grief of one of us?

Could we ever reflect that we would be placed thousands of miles away and the word ‘friendship’ would stand before us in a questioning mode?

Could we ever think that one of our most effervescent and vivacious friends would be the first one to face the biggest setback of life…losing her husband and that too at such a stage when life starts afresh?

I always thought that I have become impervious to setbacks, having the experience of facing them since childhood but each one brings new emotions and memories. This one jolted me out of my illusionary world of thinking ‘everyone has to go and so must I.’

I often say I am ready to go, unmindful of the sentiments of my dear ones. I preach selflessness but in the process forget certain emotions that are vital to heart despite detachment. Today these emotions are hitting me hard from a new angle. They remind me that detachment is a mere word…a delusion to keep us occupied to deal with the struggles and realities of this world.

friends

Real detachment is painful and the laceration never heals as it is eternal…it is like amputating one part of the body.

Recently I came across an interesting perspective about time – “Time does not heal, it just teaches us how to live with the pain.” This outlook appealed to me and as I look back, I nod to myself how true it is as time has blurred my agony and hurts and I have learnt to live with them.

I know my wishful thinking can never put us in the same boat of blissful friendship we shared but we can provide solace with our words. We cannot bridge the distances but we can be with each other in spirit.

As I grieve over the loss and loneliness of my dear friend, the words of a famous poet come to my mind: “If moments were birds, I could have caged them, nurtured them with care, fed them with pearls and kept them close to my heart…”

Moments do get entrapped in our hearts and we can revisit them through our “inward eye.”

“A friend is what the heart needs all the time.” Henry Van Dyke

‘The greatest gift of life is friendship’…Have you received it?

Thank you for reading this amalgamation of emotions. Please add your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

If you have liked this real story, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Balroop Singh.

 

My First Flight…The Most Memorable One!

my-first-flight

I have taken many flights of fantasy but this was a real one. I can still feel that sensation, that ecstasy and elation.

I still remember the way I announced…‘We are going to Srinagar by air’ as if I was already on cloud nine! And the beaming face of my mother is etched in my memory.

I could never write about it as the feeling is inexplicable, the rapture of delight is unfathomable…words can never describe some emotions yet I want to record them in whatever words I can find.

Married off at 23, I didn’t expect much as I had no idea what a blissful relationship it could be. Prejudiced against this overrated institution or ignorant about it… I was totally confused and carried on with all the traditions and rituals mutely.

One aspect was very clear in my mind that there would be what people called ‘honeymoon’ though this word too was obscure. I associated it with dream locations and picturesque surroundings.

I was given the opportunity to choose my favorite locale and I chose Srinagar.

Oh! The excitement. The preparations. The plans within my mind! The intensity of emotions that encompassed me kept me awake for long hours.

I was going to fly for the first time! Whatever travel I had known till then was either by bus or on motorbike. The thought of flying had never crossed my mind.

Those were the times when there were no online bookings and no smart phones. We boarded a train to Delhi, walked into the airline office to book our tickets, which were dirt-cheap, less than the tariff we paid for staying in a luxurious houseboat.5130140_12_z

Houseboats are dream houses, popularized by movies of those times and were preferred over hotels.

Next morning was the flight. I had nobody around me to share my overflowing emotions. A person of few words, my husband appeared to be very calm as if he had been travelling by air for all the 24 years of his life!

I asked him how was he feeling and he gave me a blank look. He didn’t even ask what I meant.

I told myself he doesn’t know me. Well, Mr. Calm…this is the beginning!

I told him I wanted the window seat and I did get it. All the time I was looking out of the little window (I wondered why do they design such small holes!)

You can’t imagine my amazement of watching the earth from above! No wonder people associate heaven with azure blue!

photo-2The clouds looked more like bales of cotton or soft snow, the sky peeping through pristine white sheet with hues of varied blues and the movement of clouds was mesmerizingly noticeable. My eyes ached but I couldn’t take them off from this ethereal experience.

Those were the days when snacks were offered free even for a one-hour flight but I had no interest in what the smiling airhostess was asking.

Lost in my thoughts, I was thinking about the birds who experience this feeling each time they fly, every single day. I was wondering what could be the thoughts of Wright brothers. I could almost feel their pride and deep down in my heart, there was a tinge of gratitude.

I got shaken out of my reverie when my husband shook me as he thought it was rude not to answer the question of the airhostess. Now each time we fly, he knows he has to tell my preference for a drink on my behalf also.

I have taken many flights after this. I must have flown many hours yet my penchant for a window seat has never waned and my wonder of looking at the clouds, the ocean, the roads and cars, which seem to be transported from the land of Lilliputians has never been quelled.

Today we are celebrating 39 years of flying together.

I wonder how people can sit on the aisle seat and bury their heads into their devices, oblivious of the beauty that sky offers from the windows of an airplane!

One of my friends doesn’t find flying fascinating. Fear grips her as soon as she enters a plane; she feels nauseated and therefore avoids flying!

Do you think flights can be enthralling? What emotions do they arouse?

Thank you for reading this. Please add your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

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Balroop Singh.

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Freedom At Last

freedom

Walking uphill,
In search of my true self
Guided by the will to self-reflect
At last!
 
I follow the steady stream
Of consciousness, asking all the time
Is it the right time?
Do I need this?
 
Lost in tentative thoughts,
I fail to notice my mates
Lugging along,
Eager to offer succor
 
I tell solitude:
‘I have had enough of you
You can stay away
Let me move ahead.’
 
Determined to abandon distress
I ignore its presence
In the valley, on the side
Disregarding its alacrity to pull backwards
 
Tears refused to subside
They overpowered my spirit
I sat down in the company
Of my oldest confidants
 
Detachment and defiance at last
From the shackles of subjugation…
I soar freely with my new friends
To explore the wide world
 
Hope offered its camaraderie
Positivity promised to permeate around
Acceptance assured affinity
Confidence closed in compliant collusion!
 
© Balroop Singh
All rights reserved.

You can click on Sublime Shadows of Life by Balroop Singh to read more such poems.

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Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.