Lessons Of Life

Lessons Of Life

Visual effects were almost complete
Eyes half closed, one hand invisible
A dried tear, a veiled vanity
A relationship gone awry
The picture was ready…
 
The painter – a half winged bird
Struggling to fly yet feigning finesse
Besieged by promises
Eternal wait…. edgy encounters
Enigmatic appearance after ages!
 
Misty mornings of camouflaged hopes
Eerie silence, long walks
Through the woods
What is this place? So familiar!
Nostalgia is painfully pleasant
 
Emotional fetters couldn’t affect
Art and inspiration
Forgotten façade couldn’t fade
Memories of hypocritical love
And gratitude for lessons of life.
© Balroop Singh
All rights reserved.

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6 lessons I Learnt From Life…And Counting

Lessons from life

“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.” -Robert Frost

I wish life could have been as simple as that!

You may like to smile but you have to deal with those who frown at you.

We keep making plans and life passes by, reminding us that we can’t even hold a single second.

It is important to define your passion:

Life without a passion is a rudderless boat, which is tossed and turned by people around us. If you don’t know what you want from life, pause and reflect. Are you running the race without any goal in sight? Are you motivated enough to pursue that? Blessed are those who can discern the difference between passion and ambition.

I have heard the sane advice many times – ‘it’s never too late to follow your passion.’ But by the time I discovered it, I didn’t have the time and the money to put into it. My emotional bonds encompassed me so firmly that I couldn’t break free from them; my values didn’t permit me to unshackle myself. So I let it go.

I often tell myself…life is like that. It offered me love and duties and I found happiness in them. Acceptance makes us prudent, aligns us with the realities of life and makes us resilient.

Don’t bury your bucket list:

It may be very necessary to have a free spirit but we often ignore it for the sake of others. Our dear ones occupy a precious place in our hearts and we give prominence to them most of the times.

If we don’t do so we feel adrift, yearning for somebody who really cares, who occupies the most important place in our life.

Many times we forget our own self, our wishes remain buried within us; we call it love and benevolence but some corner of the heart keeps smoldering.

Pay attention to that corner of your heart. I created my bucket list but buried it in that corner. Many parts got charred before I turned my attention to that list. It is before me now and I have convinced myself… ‘it is never too late to fulfill your wishes, it is perfectly fine to add some more and I am grateful to be healthy to empty my bucket.

All dreams are achievable:

I realized it too late but I am glad I could develop that discerning eye. I have been dropping many dreams, as I couldn’t get the support, I thought they were risky, fears could convince me and I felt I was not ready. Time and tide don’t wait and so they carried them away while I looked helplessly.

We need the inspiration, the resources and the determination. Apparently one of them was missing. Probably I was too naïve to build up a crushing spirit, to rise above the challenges but I don’t have any regrets.

However, I know now that dreams remain dormant if we don’t share them, if we don’t work on them and if we get confounded by the fears. Nobody would pay any attention to them if you don’t.

Don’t judge:

I know it is basic human nature to form opinions, sometimes even without knowing others properly. I know we get this habit from our surroundings. All the time people around me judged me, without actually knowing why I am an introvert, why I hold my head up when I walk or why I don’t smile much. They even judged my sense of dressing up!

My boss called me arrogant but my close friends knew that I wore a mask to insulate myself from hurts. Some of my colleagues found me rude while some found me very warm and friendly.

Whose opinion would you accept? Judgments can be delusive.

I am not trying to say that I was never prejudiced. It was natural for me to pick up what I saw but life has taught me that judgments can be biased and they serve no useful purpose. Nobody likes to be judged.

I took all kinds of judgment in a positive manner, some of which helped me to learn smiling and become a better person.

Life quote

Don’t regret:

Nobody has a perfect life – so why have regrets? Accept them, live with them.

When I was too naïve, I couldn’t see through the tricks of people, I couldn’t understand when they played with my emotions but none of that is my fault, the onus falls on them.

If you couldn’t follow your passion or made a wrong choice, it is futile to grieve over the past, as you didn’t have any control over it. Regrets pull us backwards.

Did you hurt somebody? You may not have done it consciously. Was your apology unacceptable to a dear one? It doesn’t matter because you have done all you could.

I have always accepted such experiences as lessons that life has taught me. I have consistently moved ahead with fresh confidence and fortitude.

When we look at the positive aspect of those regrets, we can get over them.

Detachment is inevitable:

While it is easy to detach from money, power and people, emotional attachments control us. They cloud our judgment, they refuse to let go, they are like a lump in the throat, which can only be felt. Detachment may be distressing and paralyzing but it is the reality of life.

We have to let go. We have to give wings to our children who want to soar. We have to come back to square one and find new activities. Most cherished relationships end, near and dear ones pass on into another world and we have to accept.

Thank you for reading this. It was becoming too lengthy and therefore I have cut it short here only.

Please share your views about the lessons that life has taught you.

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Balroop Singh.

 

 

What Can We Give?

 

Giving

We give a little happiness when we smile.
We give a little hope when we listen patiently.
We give a gentle message with our tender touch.
We give some confidence with our friendly nudge.

We give a little kindness when we pay attention.
We give strength through our words of wisdom.
We give respect by communicating honestly.
We give love through our forgiving nature.

We give a little positivity by showering selfless love.
We give a little encouragement by believing them.
We give amity through our calm demeanor.
We give civility when we are courteous.

We add sunshine to somebody’s life
With all these gifts of love
We can become a part of those exhilarating moments
Only those who believe in giving can experience that thrill.

© Balroop Singh.
You can click on Sublime Shadows of Life by Balroop Singh to read more such poems.
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Inconsistency Defines Your Behavior

ConsistencyAs we head towards the end of this year, one aspect of our personality we must analyze is consistency. Lets pause for two minutes and focus on how consistent we have been in the promises we made to ourselves, during this year.

“I’m inconsistent, even to myself.”-Bob Dylan

This term, ‘inconsistency’ has often irritated me, displeased me and exasperated me! Ironically it has also made me patient, tolerant and understanding. It has taught me the significance of regularity.

What is inconsistency? It is not being consistent in principles and conduct. It is not staying the same throughout. It is changing your behavior according to the given situation. Slowly inconsistency becomes a habit.

While we can work towards eliminating this habit, I have seen people push it under the carpet and deny that they have ever been inconsistent. Life itself is inconsistent, so are relationships.

Let me explain with the help of a very small example:

My friend who has been planning to lose weight keeps planning! She is waiting for the right time; she feels she would start when she is a bit free; she wants to start in the holidays and even does. But she comes up with ten excuses when you ask her why she is not consistent.

Her excuses are:

  • “My son is unwell. He needs me.
  • I have no time. My work keeps me occupied all day.
  • I have so many responsibilities. I feel so tired.
  • I have cramps in my legs. I have to wait for a few days till I feel fine.
  • The gym is so cramped…I have to change my time. I don’t like the instructor.
  • I think my priorities are different than yours.”

While we can dismiss this example with a lighthearted laughter, we need to understand that consistency defines our personality and in order to nurture relationships, accomplish our goals and earn respect, we need to be consistent.

“It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives. It’s what we do consistently.”–Anthony Robbins

 Consistency is very demanding. Aldous Huxley may have said: “Consistency is contrary to nature, contrary to life…” But we are the ones who have to mold our lives and we can change its course only if we are consistent in our efforts.fullsizeoutput_416f

Demands of consistency:

  • Our actions should be in harmony with our values.
  • We must uphold our principles in all situations.
  • We treat all people with the same respect that we expect from them.
  • We need to maintain our integrity even during difficult times.
  • We have to come up to the expectations of others.

Our actions reveal our values and principles. If we don’t follow them consistently, we give out a clear message that we are faking our relationships. It is our behavior that exhibits what lies within us.

“Without consistency there is no moral strength”- Owen

When I think of impressive personalities, consistency seems to be the most important requirement. We may feel more detached and free in today’s world, dedication and sincerity may appear to be a bit outdated but they are still revered and valued.

Consistency of principles and conduct give a distinctive shape to our personality. When we don’t change our behavior in the midst of crisis, under pressure or due to threats, when the influence of circumstances doesn’t crush us or change us, we can call ourselves consistent.

Consistency in relationships is the key to happiness and serenity. All relationships need an assurance, an assertion and an affirmation that they can be banked upon. Consistency lends that much needed emotional mortar to firm our relationships.

Consistent parents raise happy and healthy children and make a positive mark on their ever-evolving personality.

Dedication and sincerity are the offshoots of consistency, which align our actions with our concepts.

Just consider what consistency can do:

  • Consistency of thoughts evolves us into a better person. Even if our thoughts happen to be negative at times, they are shoved away by being positive and consistent.
  • Consistency of beliefs leads us through the darkest tunnels of our mind. Trust speaks to us during those disappointing moments to focus on positive aspects of life.
  • Consistency of values makes us a luminous personality. It makes us as tall and as bright as the lighthouse. People notice that consistency and get inspired.
  • Consistency of upright behavior endears us to all our acquaintances and friends who know that they can pin their hope on us.
  • Consistency of affirmative outlook sends a positive message to all those around us.
  • Consistency of diet, exercise and meditation keeps us healthy and fit.

Why are we inconsistent? After careful analysis, I have tried to comprehend a few reasons:

We lack the will. We are lazy. We procrastinate. We may be having confusing principles. We may be selfish and self- centered. Allow Yourself To Be A Better Person

Have you ever tried to analyze the reasons of inconsistency? Are you consistent in your work, behavior and relationships? You can share your valuable thoughts here.

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– Balroop Singh