emotions – Page 63 – Emotional Shadows

I have been trying to write a book, trying to compress most of the experiences of my life, honestly into it but each time I go back to those pages, some kind of darkness descends on me.

I get wedged in those dark corridors. I feel stifled.

My thoughts veer into those unknown crevices where I have buried many setbacks, a thousand emotions and disappointments, which have been struggling to wriggle out.

I have endeavored to approach it from a different angle, interspersing it with fictional characters and situations to camouflage the darker moments but each time I have returned disillusioned.

My progress has been dismally slow; I lose the inspiration just after writing a few words. Meanwhile I have completed two books. My poetry flows most naturally and this has been a good reminder that I lack the will to come out of those long, narrow alleys, face sunshine and move forward.

The hope

But sunshine has been my lifeline, my motivation, and my most trusted friend who has always provided me the impetus to welcome positive thoughts.

I have been pondering who is the real culprit and why this unknown entity lurks around me…

There is one main character with ghost like eyes, prying at me all the time, holding my hands, scaring the life out of my fingers, paralyzing them, shooting at my thoughts, stealing all the ideas, showing daggers and making me quit.

Each time its approach is different. Sometimes it visits me right in the morning, even before I open my journal, exerting a strange power over my actions, distracting me into some meaningless activities.

The vice like grip of this monster holds all the words that seem to drift away, leaving me powerless.

There is always a villain, I reassure myself. I have the liberty to portray this villain in the darkest shades.

Devilish influence

Whenever I move ahead with this argument in my mind, I can race through some more pages, which reveal many more fiends, glowering at me through the words.

I refuse to give up. Nothing can bog me down. I continue to write. A day will come when all these devilish characters would stand exposed.

They will lose their hold on me one day.

Do I regret having buried them? Probably that was the only solution at that time.

Probably I didn’t have the maturity to handle their power at that juncture.

Now I can’t let them keep visiting me. Now I need to extort them out of my life. Words are more powerful than the sharpest weapons.

So I have been using just words.

“If I waited till I felt like writing, I’d never write at all.” – Anne Tyler

Thank you for reading these random thoughts. I know you too have some. Please share them.

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Balroop Singh.

Why Arrogant People Don’t Have Friends…

Published on February 16, 2015February 20, 2015 by balroop singh24 Comments

This is my third post on Arrogance, which is inspired from organic traffic.

This word – ‘Arrogance’ is detested by all due to the negative energy it carries but we all like to know more about its aspects and dimensions. Have you read how it can harm our personality?

Arrogance leads you into a self-created glittering world, making you the protagonist of those realms and the throne that feeds your ego is placed at a higher pedestal. It is very difficult to look at others with compassion and love when you gaze from that exalted throne.

Self-love dominates your thoughts and all those around you appear to be your friends and admirers.

Arrogance dwells in such a shallow zone where relationships do not hold any relevance. So friendship and arrogance can never move hand in hand.

Self-importance guides arrogance:

You have to step down from that platform of superciliousness to befriend people but your haughty nature doesn’t let you step down. You think you have a lot of friends and indeed you can see yourself surrounded by many people.

Admirers can never be your true friends. They would surround you till you entertain them, party with them and let your money flow freely for their benefit.

Arrogance detests emotions:

The only emotions that seem to be of any importance to arrogant persons are those, which concern them. If they have been snubbed at some stage of life, they carry that pain in their heart forever. If they have not been treated justly, they would call the whole humanity unjust. When they hide their true emotions from their friends, the latter can understand their demeanor.

Arrogance doesn’t trust anybody:

Trust is the main plank of true friendship but arrogant people are always on their guard. Their relationships remain superficial. They fail to open their heart to their friends and therefore their friendship never crosses that line of mutual trust. Those who try to be friendly with such people often discover this trait and walk off, feeling cheated.

Nobody likes to be judged and controlled:

Arrogance is that intoxication, which never lets you come to your senses. Those who acquire this trait think highly of themselves and try to judge even their friends. They manipulate them in various ways, which is always disliked. How long can any friend bear such a behavior?

Arrogance mocks at humility:

Such people consider humility to be a weakness. They look down upon benevolent and humble friends, which exposes their own hollowness. Virtues are very hard to maintain and therefore all those who try to endure the behavior of arrogant persons give up out of disappointment.

Arrogance thrives on dominance:

Would you like your friend to control your thoughts, influence you into doing something you may not be comfortable with? Arrogant people are compulsive rulers. They want to govern your feelings, your time and even your likes. They take pleasure in planning for all the people around them.

Do you have arrogant friends? Do you like their company? I would love to hear your views.

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Balroop Singh.

Image adapted from: http://windydy.deviantart.com