Do you respect the feelings and emotions of others? Do you value the care and love of the dear members of your family? Why do some people choose to be indifferent and cold to our love and respect? Isn’t affection reciprocal?
These questions have troubled me many times and I have been trying to understand the reasons. Over the years of studying various persons and their demeanor, I have drawn some conclusions.
They may not be wholesome but they do offer some interpretations.
There are people who make you feel insignificant, who don’t respect your views, who try to belittle you. We all come across such people and sometimes we wonder what is their problem! Why is it so hard to impress them?
The reasons could be:
Insensitive people don’t care! Their own opinion, needs and self-esteem are so significant that they can’t think beyond that. They may not communicate it openly but their body language, their looks and their silence speaks volumes.
They lack emotional quotient: Emotional quotient is the ability to understand and handle our emotions in such a way that we appreciate the sentiments of others, learn with each step, each experience and move ahead, without getting emotionally scared or charged. Insensitive people are emotionally challenged. They cannot perceive or assimilate emotional vibes. They consider emotions to be superfluous and therefore they turn a blind eye to the affection of people around them.
They pick it up from family environment: Our upbringing makes a gigantic difference in making us considerate, respectful and thoughtful. A family that nurtures the values of being reverential and selfless passes them on to posterity effortlessly. If selfishness and callousness is not checked at an early age; if some member of the family exhibits such traits, children unconsciously pick them up.
They are insecure and jealous: It is hard to believe but it is true! It is their own insecurity that makes people insensitive. Other members of the family seem to be their competitors. They tell themselves that there is no competition but actually they make it so in their own minds. They want all the attention, they want to impose their views and feel all-important. Some childhood insecurities could be driving their thoughts, which they choose to conceal.
They are selfish and self-centered: When we give top priority to our own interests, when we expect even our spouse and children to follow us in all our decisions, when we don’t see beyond our own desires and expectations, how can we develop sensitivity towards others? It doesn’t strike us that they may not like our choices and if it is pointed out, we tend to take offence.
They are puppets: Insensitive people are weak-minded and are usually controlled from behind. They tend to dance according to the tunes of their puppeteers as they have been conditioned to believe them blindly. All their sensitivity and loyalty leans towards their manipulators and they are likely to pick up the traits of those persons who could be their most respected mentors. They behave the way they have been told to, without using their own logic.
They learn to become manipulators: Those who do not react to manipulations aggressively absorb this conduct unconsciously and insensitivity is one such peculiarity. Insensitive people seem to have one-track mind. Since they have been brainwashed for a long time, they fail to recognize the emotional aspect of feelings and opinions.
Are they incorrigible? It is very difficult to change such people as they consider themselves to be superior, their self-image is far better in their own eyes than what others consider them to be and they don’t want to be directed. They detest being told that they lack something. But that doesn’t mean we should not confront them. If we keep telling them that they need to rethink, that their demeanor is unacceptable, they might introspect and make some efforts to learn being sensitive.
While society immediately points a finger at insensitive remarks made against protected groups, this kind of behavior is often ignored in families.
You may like: How To Deal With Insensitive People
Do you know any insensitive persons? How do you react to them? Do you ignore their behavior? I would love to hear your views.
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Thank you for your support. Please share your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.
Balroop Singh.
Emotional Shadows 