Why Some Relationships Remain Shallow?

Dealing with Shallow Relationships

Some relationships never grow beyond the ordinary. Why? This question may seem a little prickly but the answers remain within our reach.

My observation seems to suggest that arrogance and hypocrisy are the two major malefactors albeit their tentacles spread wider than we can comprehend.

If Indifference doesn’t bother you, if neglect has crept into your relationship, if you seek perfection, if you remain frozen in time, seeking change, if you expect your partner to change …no miracle can save you.

Have you ever tried to catch a butterfly? If you haven’t, I beseech you to try! Patience and perseverance that you would learn while trying to catch those winged whizzes would add another dimension to your personality. Connections that are made with heart go beyond immeasurable depths.

Relationships grow if they are nurtured with trust. “Secrets are festering parasites to a relationship, devouring their hosts from within, leaving behind a empty hollow husk of what once was.” – Mark W. Boyer

Do you repose all-embracing trust in each other?

Lack of trust is an offshoot of arrogance. Those who keep secrets within their heart just because they can’t trust their partner completely fail to understand the significance of this value. Probably they consider themselves better or suffer from their internal struggles. Some insecurities gnaw at their heart, which can never be dispelled if they do not share them.

Do you keep the channel of communication open?

Lack of honest communication creates chasms that keep growing wider. When we share our weaknesses, our failures, our thoughts about day-to-day activities, when we bare our heart honestly, we can expect the same from our partner. Some persons are intuitive enough to understand while others have to dig deeper to tell their introvert partners to speak out.

Do you try to dominate?Shallow people quote

Control and dominance has no place in a good and healthy relationship. Any such attempt by either partner would lead to confrontation, thereby resulting in conflicts. While conflicts are an imperative part of decent relationships, anybody who tries to control our thoughts, smother our personality, impose his/her desires or manipulate us ingeniously falls below the expected level of reverence. Such a person can never earn it back.

Do you hold silent grudges?

Passive aggression can cause unimaginable harm to relationships. People who are passively aggressive hold a lot of negative energy within themselves and it molds their thoughts. Since they choose to withhold all those feelings of anger and resentment within their heart, wearing a mask of pretended goodness, it cannot reach anybody.

Do you pretend to be truthful?

Lack of truthfulness trivializes the solemnity of relationships. One lie leads to another, one broken promise manifests itself into growing resentment and disillusionment slowly gives way to doubts, which keep mushrooming and clouding our mind. A true confession, an honest apology and forgiveness may cement a wobbly trust.

Do you look into the eyes of each other?

Digital world has robbed us of intimate moments. With eyes on their digital devices, preferring to text than talk, giving half attention to your partner prevents deep conversations. How rightly has Erik Pevernagie observed: “When there is no interaction in the neural network and no breakthrough into the mind but only a shallow skin experience, living together might be very torturous. If a heartfelt bond has not been molded, nothing can be broken and thus nothing needs to be fixed.”

Shallow minds can not think beyond their own desires and diktats. If you are struggling in such a relationship, it is time to introspect and break free before it gets too late.

Thank you for reading this. Please add your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

If you have liked this post, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Balroop Singh.

 

 


 

Alone #writephoto

se-ilkley-2015-saturday-142

Abandoned, I stand alone
Deprived, deluded…
Deranged [they say]
Due to my own indulgence.

Muted by the charges
Of undue affection,
Of care?
Of neglect,
Of discrimination?

My heart always bleeds
For all the affection
I showered
For all the favoritism
That I poured.

A deep, unspeakable regret
Gnaws at my heart
Why was my love
So selfless, so unbiased?

Entrenched in time
I stand here
Watching the new face
Of love, of friendship and trust!
© Balroop Singh

Thank you to Sue Vincent for an inspiring #photoprompt.

If you have liked this poem, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

My Neglected Baby

sublime-shadows-of-life

 

 

My neglected baby

Who made me a poet

Craving for attention.

 

 

 

My debut poetry book ‘Sublime Shadows Of Life’ is available for $0.99 at Amazon from 10 – 13 August 2017. When this book was published, I didn’t have a blog or any social media contacts to promote it or request reviews. The bliss of ignorance encompassed me!

The poems in this collection talk about bruised emotions and lost passions, which linger around us even when we try to bury them. While these poems give them a channel to flow freely, they also send vibes of positivity to deal with their shadows.

Sublime Shadows Of Life comments on life, its turbulent curves and relationships. It envisions people through the prism of poetry. I, you, he, we and they are universal symbols, which highlight the fact that happiness is not a destination but a chasm to bury agony, anguish, grief, distress and move on! No sea of solitude is so deep that it can drown us. Sometimes aspirations are trampled upon, the boulders of exploitation and discrimination may block your path but those who tread on undeterred are always successful.

Please click here to look inside.

Please share this post at your favorite social networks so that all poetry lovers could buy this collection of poems at the discounted price.

Balroop Singh.

How Poetry Makes Us Positive Minded

 

Positive power of poetry

If you are a poetry lover, you must be familiar with the positive power that a poem can provide us. I have quoted many inspiring lines from the famous poets in one of my earlier posts. ‘If’ by Rudyard Kipling being my favorite.

Poetry soothes the writer as well as the reader.

Recently I stumbled across this gem, an outstanding poem written in 1932. It demonstrates an incredible power to assuage loss and anguish. Though the poet had written it for her friend who could not visit her mother’s grave due to disturbing times, its popular appeal can be judged from the fact that it was read by the father of a young soldier, who had been killed by a bomb in Northen Ireland.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die. – Mary  Elizabeth Frye

The poem conjures a thousand images of nature to lift the gloomy mood, which fades away in the wake of so much positivity. Read it twice and you would be transported into a different world.

Those who consider reading or writing a poem a difficult task have probably not been introduced to poetry at an impressionable stage of life when emotions and sensitivities are forming.

It is just like book love; some of us are passionate readers while many people don’t care for a book. I know many persons who have not read a single book in their life. When you try to understand the reasons behind this habit, most of the times you would discover that they had no exposure to reading in their childhood.

“We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. So medicine, law, business, engineering… these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love… these are what we stay alive for.” – Walt Whitman 

From Rumi to Rudyard Kipling to Maya Angelou, poetry has always evoked images of romanticism, realism and Sufism and we get carried away with those images depending on the phase of our life.

Poetry can convey the emotions most succinctly:

“Love is a smoke and is made with the fume of sighs” – William Shakespeare

A renowned Urdu poet, Mirza Ghalib says, “Love is a river of fire and you have to drown in it to reach it.” Love could perish you, that’s what Ghalib’s quote is trying to convey through just one couplet and he is talking about romantic love.Poetry of earth

Poetry holds the most profound thoughts:

“The poetry of the earth is never dead,” John Keats has compressed all pervading beauty of nature and its subtle sounds just within one line.

Poetry clasps our sweetest and saddest thoughts:

We look before and after,
And pine for what is not:
Our sincerest laughter
With some pain is fraught;
Our sweetest songs are those that tell of saddest thought. – P.B. Shelley

Poetry carries the wisdom of the world; much can be learnt from it as every aspect of life is depicted through it:

“To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour.” – William Blake

Poetry inspires us to look at the beauty around us:IMG_3370

Nature’s first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
– Robert Frost

I have picked up those lines of poetry, which are very easy to understand. In vain do we get scared by this splendid genre of literature, which has been called “the crown of literature.”

Have you felt the positive power of poetry?

Thank you for reading this. Please add your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

If you have liked this post, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Balroop Singh.

Love Changes

I am delighted to inform all of you that my new book ‘Emerging From Shadows’ is ready for pre-order.

Please click here to order it.

Emerging from Shadows:book
Ready for pre-order at Amazon

The poem that I share today is not a part of this book. Enjoy!

      Love Changes

Last night we met in that street
The street where we fell in love
Only to see our dearest dream
Getting adrift, floating far away

Did you see…did you try to fathom?
It didn’t look back
You didn’t even try to talk
The silence was deafening.

Misty eyed, I felt its caressing touch
It’s inaudible soft sounds,
It’s gentle reminder of
Deadly desolation all around

I could feel the detachment
Dumbstruck, peering into darkness
Hand outstretched, stumbling,
Searching the silhouettes…

I could sense the unspoken
I have fortified those emotions
Knowing well they are now insignificant
How much has our love changed!
© Balroop Singh
All rights reserved.

You can pre-order my new poetry book ‘Emerging From Shadows.’ It is available for pre-order here.

If you have liked this poem, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.