Behavior – Page 4 – Emotional Shadows

How Unspoken Words Harm Our Personality And Relationships

Published on October 5, 2015 by balroop singh35 Comments

A spoken word is better than those, which are kept within the heart. Unspoken words keep struggling; they create negative images in the minds of people who want to hear them and who keep suppressing them.

The words we can’t say, observes John Geddes “are the holes I punch in the walls of my psyche…” They keep growing deeper and wider with time. The unspoken words keep falling into those holes and it becomes hard to retreat them.

Unspoken words hurt. They hurt not only you, as they are emotionally strenuous but they are painful for those too who expect them to be shared. The silence keeps growing with each passing day till it becomes a habit.

You keep burying all your secrets, all the plans, even those well-intentioned ideas within your mind and when they tumble out, they provoke an untold psychological trauma for your own loved ones.

They wonder what is their role in failing to get closer to you; they start doubting their own love and misunderstandings start budding. They can never get sorted out if words remain unspoken.

Unspoken words carry emotional baggage. When feelings and emotions are not shared, they create an unknown wedge between relationships. They breed anger and angst and there is no limit to these negative emotions.

Non-communication can lead to serious rifts and it is one of the major reasons of drifting apart. Emotions need an outlet, a channel that makes them flow spontaneously.

Emotional outbursts are better than carrying an emotional baggage.

Repressed emotions are like a volcano and unspoken words become a lid for them. I am sure you can understand what happens when a volcano bursts!

Unspoken words create negative energy, which keeps on multiplying as people wait for the right time to share their feelings. Such a time never comes, as the right time is that moment when you feel like saying something. Once you suppress those words, you become adept at doing so each time.

Negative thoughts often change our personality as we become skeptical. Even the right-minded people, the well-wishers seem threatening and we want to shove them out of our lives.

Unspoken words conceal your real personality. How do people know about you? It is only through our words that we share about various topics and issues that others form and opinion about us. Even introverts interact with words, which may be too less!

Unspoken words make us seem hypocritical. Others get an opportunity to judge our personality according to their own perspective. If we don’t make an effort to be friendly or nice, people draw their own conclusions about us, which may not be always accurate.

Why people hold words?

They don’t want to hurt others
They want to hide their feelings
They may be having some secrets
They could have been snubbed in childhood
They could be cynical or hypocritical
They could have been trained to do so

You can understand very well that it is all about the molding of personality, which is influenced by various factors. Whatever the reason may be, unspoken words affect us eventually. They lead us to breaking down of ties; leave us rudderless in the sea of relationships.

Do you hold your words? Is there any other reason for that? I would love to hear your views.

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© Balroop Singh.

Why Are People So Insensitive?

Published on September 21, 2015December 5, 2018 by balroop singh51 Comments

Do you respect the feelings and emotions of others? Do you value the care and love of the dear members of your family? Why do some people choose to be indifferent and cold to our love and respect? Isn’t affection reciprocal?

These questions have troubled me many times and I have been trying to understand the reasons. Over the years of studying various persons and their demeanor, I have drawn some conclusions.

They may not be wholesome but they do offer some interpretations.

There are people who make you feel insignificant, who don’t respect your views, who try to belittle you. We all come across such people and sometimes we wonder what is their problem! Why is it so hard to impress them?

The reasons could be:

Insensitive people don’t care! Their own opinion, needs and self-esteem are so significant that they can’t think beyond that. They may not communicate it openly but their body language, their looks and their silence speaks volumes.

They lack emotional quotient: Emotional quotient is the ability to understand and handle our emotions in such a way that we appreciate the sentiments of others, learn with each step, each experience and move ahead, without getting emotionally scared or charged. Insensitive people are emotionally challenged. They cannot perceive or assimilate emotional vibes. They consider emotions to be superfluous and therefore they turn a blind eye to the affection of people around them.

They pick it up from family environment: Our upbringing makes a gigantic difference in making us considerate, respectful and thoughtful. A family that nurtures the values of being reverential and selfless passes them on to posterity effortlessly. If selfishness and callousness is not checked at an early age; if some member of the family exhibits such traits, children unconsciously pick them up.

They are insecure and jealous: It is hard to believe but it is true! It is their own insecurity that makes people insensitive. Other members of the family seem to be their competitors. They tell themselves that there is no competition but actually they make it so in their own minds. They want all the attention, they want to impose their views and feel all-important. Some childhood insecurities could be driving their thoughts, which they choose to conceal.

They are selfish and self-centered: When we give top priority to our own interests, when we expect even our spouse and children to follow us in all our decisions, when we don’t see beyond our own desires and expectations, how can we develop sensitivity towards others? It doesn’t strike us that they may not like our choices and if it is pointed out, we tend to take offence.

They are puppets: Insensitive people are weak-minded and are usually controlled from behind. They tend to dance according to the tunes of their puppeteers as they have been conditioned to believe them blindly. All their sensitivity and loyalty leans towards their manipulators and they are likely to pick up the traits of those persons who could be their most respected mentors. They behave the way they have been told to, without using their own logic.

They learn to become manipulators: Those who do not react to manipulations aggressively absorb this conduct unconsciously and insensitivity is one such peculiarity. Insensitive people seem to have one-track mind. Since they have been brainwashed for a long time, they fail to recognize the emotional aspect of feelings and opinions.

Are they incorrigible? It is very difficult to change such people as they consider themselves to be superior, their self-image is far better in their own eyes than what others consider them to be and they don’t want to be directed. They detest being told that they lack something. But that doesn’t mean we should not confront them. If we keep telling them that they need to rethink, that their demeanor is unacceptable, they might introspect and make some efforts to learn being sensitive.

While society immediately points a finger at insensitive remarks made against protected groups, this kind of behavior is often ignored in families.

Do you know any insensitive persons? How do you react to them? Do you ignore their behavior? I would love to hear your views.

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Thank you for your support. Please share your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

Balroop Singh.

What If Some Experiences Are Not Positive?

Published on September 7, 2015September 9, 2015 by balroop singh24 Comments

Is life so simple? Can we control our experiences?

I stumbled upon the above quote and got a lot of positive energy from it but a thought immediately crossed my mind…what if some experiences are not positive? What if positive feelings are not reciprocated?

All people are not alike. There may be such persons in your life who are always trying to find some reason to irritate you and spread unpleasantness.

Some of them are around us all the time, in the form of our family members or colleagues.

Have you ever given a thought that negative experiences leave a deep impact on us? It is very difficult to forget them whereas positive people just pass by and are easily overlooked or taken for granted.

Life does not remain positive at all times. It is at such a challenging and grim time that positive thoughts lose their track.

This mind is so strange. It also gets distracted from its positive path.

What drives negativity? Why is it so easy to jump into this messy pool?

People! Some people are selfish. They have their own designs; their ulterior motives can never be understood. Some are arrogant, they disseminate negative vibes; they always try to put you down. Some have narcissistic traits; their presence in your life can be quite detrimental. Some are manipulative; they try to exploit your goodness.

I know many such people.

People are like an ocean! Understanding them is like diving into an ocean.

Some deep, some so shallow!

Some never come to the shore some never leave it.

If you are fortunate, you might find a pearl!

Human behavior is quite intriguing, oscillating between darkness and light.

The values, emotions and the virtues are ingrained in human soul but at the same time the vices that ensnare us can easily sway our integrity. Hurts can lead us astray.

Lack of guidance, injustice and disappointments bring out the worst behavior.

Teasing, bullying, violence, intolerance, wreaking vengeance and driving others to take the extreme step of committing suicide in modern societies seems to be an addition to human behavior.

A new negativity? However, it is possible that it lurked there in some other unfamiliar form.

Human behavior has chiefly been influenced by society, culture, region and religion, which has strengthened with time. There have hardly been any significant changes in the core values and ethics that have guided it.

Fear and insecurity may bring some changes in human behavior but only for a short period of time.

Despair and disillusionments follow us everywhere. They also change our behavior. How do we react?

Disappointments often intimidate us but if we keep talking to the hopeful aspect of our mind, if we refuse to let our mind be clogged with the fear of failures, if we embrace the tenacity of our positive spirit, we can strengthen this sentiment and pass it on to our children who exemplify true hope.

Have you ever felt the power of positive spirit?

If disenchantments follow you, learn to cultivate hope, which is an inborn virtue. It lies dormant if it is not nurtured.

Observe a child carefully and you will see an amazing amount of resilience and hope for achieving even the unattainable. A child may fall or fail but the efforts to learn new things never wane. It is the inherent quality of hope and happiness, which keeps children going robustly towards their goal.

As their little feet start growing, hope grows within them. Each step they take, each game they play, this hope becomes sounder.

No child ever thinks of losing. Cynicism is unknown to them. Little failures may dishearten them for a while but they start again with renewed efforts. It is the hope that carries them forward to catch happiness.

Hope fills enthusiasm in their efforts. They look forward to their parents for encouragement and reassurance to accomplish their little goals. When they see happiness on their faces, their spirit soars further. Hence a positive approach and support nurtures hope and happiness.

Hope and happiness are so interconnected!

It is the hope of being successful which leads us to it and happiness follows effortlessly. While conscious efforts are required for all that we hope to accomplish, happiness just meets us on the way to success.

I have had many such experiences, which have shaken my positive spirit but I have always bounced back by convincing myself that this is just a passing phase, by reminding myself that all people are not positive.

What are your reflections about meeting positive people? What impact have they made on you?

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Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable comments, they are much appreciated.

Balroop Singh.

Protected: How To Stop Hiding Behind Those Excuses…

Published on August 18, 2015June 16, 2017 by balroop singh

Can You Hear The Voice Of Nature? An Emotional Connection…

Published on July 6, 2015 by balroop singh21 Comments

This is the question I have often asked myself…

Nature speaks to us through its ineffable beauty; its voice is powerful and intense in all its forms.

And I have learnt to hear beyond the whispering willows… the whining of Mother Nature.

I could immediately relate to the veiled laments when my dear blogger friend Nihar asked the same question in his book… “Voice Of Nature”

So could Haiku, the little protagonist of this book whose innocence mingles with the wisdom and perception of his new friends who want to live with the same dignity they were born with.

The story of this book is set in Nandankanan Zoological Park, a 400-hectare zoo and botanical garden in Bhubaneswar, Odisha, India.

A critique on our relationship with flora and fauna, how we respond to them and how much of spontaneous love children develop for them, forms the basis of this book.

Haiku, a little boy is symbolic of human apprehensions, which often dilute at the altar of self-importance, pleasure and leisure.

Haiku’s own loving relationship with Mogli, the white tiger, Bani uncle, the ancient banyan tree and Kuki, the little bird speaks volumes about the future of our connection with nature.

The fact that Haiku can understand the language and emotions of animals, birds and trees symbolizes that we can hear the voice of nature if we possess the inclination and the disposition.

If we can think beyond our own interests!

If we want to nurture our relationship with Mother Nature.

We love to visit zoos; we have created such places to gloat about the care we shower on our animals but we forget that we keep them caged for our own amusement in the name of saving them from extinction.

Caged Mogli is the center of attraction but he yearns for those old days when he was free!

The banyan tree has been a witness to the disengagement of mankind.

Kuki, the little bird is trying to decipher the reasons behind all this. Her shouting at the tree cutters proves inconsequential.

None of them are familiar with the words ‘selfish’ and ‘profitable’!

It is ironic that the banyan tree is rooted yet it has gathered all the knowledge about the people who visit Nandankanan Zoological Park and the white tiger has been confined to one place yet he is expected to put up a pleasant face! Both of them seem to be hopeful and the hope lies in the little boy.

If we could “find God in nature, in animals, in birds and the environment”, as Pat Buckley said, we would think more like Haiku!

Nihar’s book inspires us to understand the divine bond of harmony, which exists between nature and man. It grimly reminds us, “There is a blurry boundary line between nature and civilization.” We must redefine it.

Albert Einstein also exhorted us “Our task must be to free ourselves… by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and it’s beauty.”

I would like to express my immense gratitude to Nihar Pradhan for sharing his book with me before its publication. I read it with great awe and admiration. It raises the hope that the younger generation would enhance their efforts to restore the lost glory of Mother Earth.

It also reminded me about my visit to Sariska National Park in Rajasthan, India where I could experience the beauty and bounty of wildlife and plant life. A home to numerous majestic animals including Leopard, Wild Dog, Jungle Cat, Hyena, Jackal, and Tiger, this Park was said to have 25 tigers, living in their natural habitats but we couldn’t spot a single one!

Doesn’t it show that they possess a better protection sense?

Please share this post at your favorite social networks to express solidarity with this noble cause.

Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable comments, they are much appreciated.

Balroop Singh