Author: balroop singh

A former high school teacher and an educator, a passionate reader, a published poet and a writer, an ardent nature lover, I am also fond of good, soft music. Amazon link for my books: goo.gl/X1NEFf

Father’s Day Reflections…Were You There?

Published on by balroop singh10 Comments

Slide1I think of you again today and all those assurances come crowding.

You promised to take care of me, you said you will love me and I believed you…what could a 12 year old girl do?

They said you are all pervading, omniscient.

They said you don’t discriminate.

I was told about your sagacity, your altruism.

Was I too young to perceive it?

Where were you when I wept alone, uncared?

Were you there to caress my locks and say all will be fine?

Did you hold my hand, like a father would, when I stumbled?

Were you there to smile with me when I tried to catch the butterflies?

Were you there to gaze at the stars with me and hold my hand?

Did you share my little joys of soaking in the rain, floating paper boats with me?

Did you walk down the aisle with me, to feel the pride of a daughter?

You didn’t and you know that.

All that sham of divine blessings was not enough.

They could not sink in…didn’t even reach me.

Why do you snatch away our loved ones… what kind of test is this?

Those words reverberate…you are kind, all-powerful!?

Is this your power?

You know it all, only your kindness could have done that!

All those moments when I prayed so hard, so sincerely…they are still etched in my mind…

Those moments when you didn’t care, when you didn’t take pity on me, when you couldn’t see how little I was to bear that loss, how tiny my sister was, how helpless and heartbroken we all were.

You too seemed to be powerless! But I looked up to you!

Am I too naïve to comprehend the power of Almighty?

But I know that a dad is irreplaceable…even YOU, the all powerful, could not fill that void.

I miss you dad. I could never celebrate Fathers’ Day.

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Balroop Singh.

 

Why Relationships Go Sour?

Published on by balroop singh18 Comments

 

Relationships

‘Relationship’ is a very wide term…it is not just a connection between two persons, which immediately comes to your mind when you hear this term.

The most precious relationship begins in the womb…a motherly binding that you experience the moment you feel the sensation of that small movement of your baby, the moment you hold that baby in your hands.

Relationships connect us not just by blood or marriage; they also refer to the emotional connection between people, family members, teachers and students, business partners and clients etc.

Relationships have to be nurtured slowly, their brittleness is felt only when we face the inevitable, when they are on the verge of falling apart. We can never put the clock back, however we wish to assuage the hurts… the scars keep reminding us of those unpleasant confrontations.

“There is no formula to relationships. They have to be negotiated in loving ways, with room for both parties, what they want and what they need, what they can do and what their life is like.”—Mitch Albom

There are very few people who want to snap off the loving ties yet they go sour. WHY?

One has to introspect to understand all the reasons:

Words: Take care of the words you use. They act like arrows, words spoken in anger or frustration cause deep wounds, which never heal. It may not be always easy to control your bitterness but prudent are those who think before they speak.

Arrogance: Many loving relationships break up due to arrogance of establishing supremacy, whether it is your spouse or sibling. If you think you have the capability to control, you are seriously mistaken. Self-respect and freedom is dear to all.

Pretense: When we pretend to be loving and affectionate but our actions and words are not in harmony with what we pose to be, such relationships never grow. Do you think people are so dumb that they can’t see through your sham?

Respect: If you expect others to respect you, don’t forget they too expect the same. Hurting their self-esteem can boomerang. Lack of respect for each other is a slow slayer of relationships!

Expectations: If you expect your spouse to follow all that you want, if you are always expecting him/her to compromise, if you are not smart enough to strike a balance between your own priorities and those of the other person, the heartbreaks which such delicate moments cause can never be bridged.

Suspicion: It devours all the goodness and faith within seconds. A suspicious mind can misinterpret even the most angelic thoughts and deeds, thereby leaving no room for explanations. Like termites, suspicion can eat into the relationships slowly and surely.

Jealousy: This is an innate human trait. We always want to be the best, to be looked after better than the other, to look our best, to be admired and respected and stricken by all these wishes, we get so jealous that we fail to understand that the other person – your close relative, too could be yearning for the same. Jealousy can harm many sensitive relationships.

Selfishness: A selfish person can never be considerate; compassion for him is a waste of time and energy. Can you expect goodness from others if you have been using them for your own profits? People soon figure out your personality and may cease to interact with you.

Forgiveness: when you are not ready to forgive, when you consider the other person to be inferior, when you fail to realize that the other person also has a dignity, your relationship meets a natural death.

RelationshipWe all possess human frailties, which are either inherent or picked up from the environment. Nobody is born perfect…we learn from each other. All we need is the will to improve our relationships.

Blaming our past or our parents, who could not give us the best of this world will not make us better human beings. Our own efforts would.

“Be the one who nurtures and builds. Be the one who has an understanding and a forgiving heart one who looks for the best in people. Leave people better than you found them.” –Marvin J. Ashton

How to save a sinking relationship:

  • Communicate your feelings.
  • Learn to be a good listener.
  • Beware of toxic people around you.
  • Develop the EQ to understand human emotions.
  • Try self-analysis.
  • Acknowledge your mistakes.
  • Make amends.

Have you tried to understand the brittleness of relationships? Do you take the responsibility to introspect? I would love to hear your views.

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Thank you for your support. Please share your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

Balroop Singh.

 

Laughter Therapy…To Remain Emotionally Healthy.

Published on by balroop singh16 Comments

 

laughter-people

Laughter is a universal human language, it may be high-pitched, quiet or muffled but we all laugh…babies laugh even before they learn to speak.

Have you observed children? How they can laugh out loud at non-issues! Laughter is a natural gift, an innate emotion to keep us healthy.

We forget to laugh as we grow up…groomed to put up controlled and civilized demeanor, told — to avoid giggling, just smile, laugh softly. That is why probably… laughter therapy was invented!

I remember very clearly that as a growing adolescent, I was sternly warned by one of my aunts to laugh in a decent manner!!

Now what is decent laughter always remained an enigma to me and I could never learn it!

Laugh aloud and enjoy its effects! We all know ‘laughter is the best medicine’!

When I read this adage in Reader’s Digest, which has been regularly giving us this medicine, I scoffed at the benign advice of my aunt, all the more.

It was much later in my life that I realized how blessed I was to be endowed with this gift of laughing out louder.

“A day without laughter is like living in darkness; you try to find your way around, but you can’t see clearly.”—Emily Mitchell

The Power of Laughter:

I didn’t know anything about laughter therapy till I saw a group of men laughing loudly. I was walking with all those morning walkers who compete with each other to demonstrate their energy and enthusiasm…a regular, silent race to keep fit.

I was shaken out of my reverie by this sudden burst, shattering the peace of morning bliss…very rarely felt in my city, Delhi.

There was a laughter coach who gave directions how to start with a forced loud laughter and go on and on till it slowly turned into natural. I kept looking and wondering what was so funny.

Everyday when I passed by those persons laughing away to glory, their laughter trailed me…I kept smiling to myself and I must confess it added a special glow to my day. I could smile more naturally; I remained in good mood till some unruly student met me in the corridor.

Later, one day I happened to meet one of these laughter gurus, who enlightened me about this practice of laughing, which is called—Laughter Yoga.

It forms a part of yoga lessons, designed to be stress busters.

Laughter has got therapeutic value and has been accepted by doctors because it is a natural form of medicine. It provides physical, emotional and social benefits.

Dr. Annette Goodheart, a psychotherapist and inventor of laughter therapy has been using laughter to treat cancer, AIDS and depression for thirty-six years.

“Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.”—Bill Cosby

How Laughter Therapy works:laughter_quote_2

  • It relieves our stress.
  • It opens our mind and heart.
  • It strengthens our emotions.
  • It helps us handle our hurts calmly.
  • It increases blood circulation.
  • It decreases stress hormones.
  • It stimulates the production of alertness hormones
  • It releases endorphins to relieve pain.
  • It boosts immune system.
  • It hastens our recovery.
  • Strengthens relationships.
  • Improves team-work.

When we laugh, we gain the capacity to step backward and reassess the situation. When we laugh, we forget all our worries for a moment…that is the moment of resurrection, the moment of reviving lost hopes!

”The burden of the self is lightened when I laugh at myself.”–Rabindranath Tagore

When are you joining laughter therapy course? It is absolutely free!

Just stand before the mirror and laugh at yourself! Just hold the hand of your spouse/partner and laugh together—loudly…as loud as your lungs permit! Remember an old dumb act of yours? Drag it out of your memories and make others laugh!

It is so easy, if we try! Have you tried laughter therapy? Did it relieve your stress?

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Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable comments, they are much appreciated.

Balroop Singh.

Picture credit:notable-quotes.com