Author: balroop singh
A former high school teacher and an educator, a passionate reader, a published poet and a writer, an ardent nature lover, I am also fond of good, soft music. Amazon link for my books: goo.gl/X1NEFf
Money May Nourish Emotions But Can It Soothe Them?
The magic of money is unparalleled, incredible and mesmerizing. It is that thrilling potion, which lures each one of us! It is the major motivating factor at any work place.
I know money nourishes emotions. The desire to earn more can never be overruled. The comfort it can buy is irrefutable.
It is only the need for money; the positive vibes it sends that makes people work. They pay attention to other aspects of work only when their needs are met and they are comfortable.
Most people think that employment means money, lots of money, which can fulfill their dreams of improving their life and style, which can give them freedom and choice, which can brighten and secure their future.
According to Euripides: “Money is the wise man’s religion.” If you have money you are respected, appreciated and envied.
Is it really thrilling?
Despite its alluring attraction, I have never had any close relationship with money. It was never my favorite friend because it eluded me when I needed it, when I was forming my first impressions about people and things.
So I developed ‘shun it’ attitude and we were both happy. A ten-rupee note, which my mother could afford to give me every month, always graced my little purse as I assumed that it was non-existent.
It taught me reticence:
Money always kept me away from my rich friends who offered free rides in their cars, who tried to lure us into bunking classes and have fun at the cafeteria of our college or watch the latest movies.
It also helped me understand its real value. It made me an introvert.
When I got my first salary, I couldn’t see money. It was transferred directly into my bank account. So its warm vibes couldn’t reach me. I also didn’t make any effort to pick up those vibes. It couldn’t soothe my emotions. Probably I had become immune to its non- existence!
Yes, I did spend it to buy some dresses of my choice and for the first time felt its aura and its magic. But it failed to revive my dead emotions; I could never befriend it!
Is it valuable than Relationships?
And then I married! Since I had hardly developed any warm relationship with money, I resigned my job immediately and was extremely happy to start a new life. People frowned at my decision but I didn’t care. I knew by instinct that relationships are far more valuable than money.
As luck would have it, my faith in people didn’t betray me. I basked in the glorious sunshine of my little children and Mr. Serene who kept his promises of providing us with all that we needed.
It failed to revive its charm:
When I had plenty of money to buy anything I wished, I started avoiding it. I never paid any bills, never counted how much of it warmed my handbag when I went to work…all that was managed by my kindhearted, loving husband, whom I call Mr. Serene due to his calm attitude towards money and my outlook towards it!
Whenever we went shopping, I selected the things of my choice and stepped aside for the bill to be paid. This pattern has never changed and I will remain eternally thankful to people around me who keep their wallets full for me, even now!
Does money motivate you?
One day, sitting in my Literature class, I happened to read Henry Fielding’s observation: “Make money your god, and it will plague you like the devil.” I smiled but our professor was not amused. He threw me out!
Money could never plague me, as it has never motivated me for work. I have been more inspired by the people who spend countless hours working in their zones of interest like teachers, social activists and scientists who are not paid nearly what they are worth.
When we choose a profession, the first criteria for the selection is our passion. Obviously we earn money but it is not the only motivation; it is not the only goal.
How it blinds us:
- It makes us selfish, greedy and even arrogant, at times.
- It coaxes us to work extra hours and sacrifice our leisure.
- It creates rifts between friends, siblings and parents.
- It leads some people to unlawful activities like thefts, murders and frauds.
Do you feel you have enough of this demon? I know it can be angelic if we understand it well! Only those who try to evaluate its qualities can perceive this paradox.
One of my dearest friends always argued with me – ‘If you are skeptical about money being the motivator, ask a person who is unemployed, ask your vegetable seller who slogs every single day to earn money, ask your domestic help who has travelled hundreds of miles away from his home town to earn money.’ It is very easy to dismiss money as secondary when you have a lot of it.
How much of money is enough?
People have never been able to answer this question and there is no definite answer. I may sound absurd but money does not motivate if your basic needs are fulfilled. Some questions may help you discern the truth: Can it buy happiness and health? Can it buy love and loving people? Can it buy IQ? Can it buy time?
I am eagerly waiting for your answers.
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Balroop Singh.
Protected: 8 Ways To Control Emotional Blackmail When It Creeps Into Your Most Loving Relationship…
How Writing Can Help Us In Dealing With Emotions
Writing is one of the most amazing gifts that we receive with life. When a child learns to put the alphabets together, when he starts using those words into small, broken sentences, he hardly knows that he is learning the best of all the ingenuities available to human beings to share their emotions.
Those who get an opportunity to develop and enhance this skill at an early age feel blessed when they can use this as to tool to calm down their emotions.
Have you heard about writing therapy? My friend Kim of My Inner Chick has been using it since the untimely, unfortunate demise of her sister Kay, who was murdered by her own husband.
I too have experienced its therapeutic appeal!
Have you felt the cathartic and liberating effect of writing?
Whether it is expressive writing, writing for pleasure or creative writing – it is the best outlet for those emotions, which are difficult to express and lurk deeper within the inner recesses of our heart.
As a student I had read what Aldous Huxley said about writing: “Words can be like X-rays if you use them properly — they’ll go through anything.”
I have often deliberated about this bizarre analogy…X-rays always conjured up darkness before my eyes but I could understand the import of his words only now…when I can discern what role darkness plays in our lives…how it props us up to look for light, almost impels us towards it…how it raises our hopes!
Writing makes us happier:
The elation of recording our feelings is so fulfilling, so heartwarming that many people develop the habit of writing a journal. We can create our own world of fantasy, in which all the characters are mere puppets in our hands. We can unlock all the doors, as the keys are in our possession…what a wonderful feeling!
Writing inspires:
Inspiration comes in many shapes and forms and writing is surely one of them. It gives an impetus to our desires. When we write down about our aspirations and goals, our dreams begin to take shape. We start feeling that we are on the chosen track and through writing; we can plan as well as take stock of our achievements, quite frequently.
Writing organizes our thoughts:
It gives clarity to those ideas, which are confusing or blurred. It calms us down and leads us to self-discovery. With practice, words become our best friends, teach us tolerance, control our anger and rein our negative thoughts. They slash those emotional walls down, which ward off our progress towards becoming a better person.
Writing keeps us busy:
Like reading, writing keeps our mind occupied and takes us to the next level…of honing our skills, of embellishing our imagination, of drowning all the anxieties and loneliness in the ocean of words. The pleasure of this activity can only be felt when we start sharing our solitude with the words. It keeps our mind healthy and active.
Writing heals:
All those hurts, the agony, the emotional throttling gets assuaged when we pour it out, when we weave a wreath of words to be placed on those buried memories, when we share it in the form of a poem, a story or that precious book we write. Healing starts the moment we pen down our thoughts. We feel relieved. We learn to forgive. We rise above human imperfections.
“I can shake off everything as I write; my sorrows disappear, my courage is reborn.” –Anne Frank
Writing sets us free:
Writing has given me wings. I can fly anytime, anywhere. I often perch on the branches of my favorite trees and can communicate with everyone without any reticence. All those who sit far away, in the comfort of their homes can hear me as I let my voice merge into the clouds that float around, merrily.
Have you experienced the power of writing? How has it affected you?
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Balroop Singh.
Spiritual Awakening – Why ‘Spirituality’ Seems A Scary Word?
One of my friends, who must have read my ‘One Year Journey’ advised me: ‘Keep blogging but remain as bubbly as ever. Don’t become spiritual.’
Her observation set me thinking.
Do I sound spiritual? I have never consciously tried to be one!
I may have liked those who believe in spiritualism. I could have even mentioned them as my friends but becoming spiritual is a far-fetched thought.
Do we pick up spiritualism just like a new box of cookies?
While pondering over the comment of my friend, my thoughts veered towards understanding this term and why it seems to be scary to some.
Why shouldn’t I become spiritual? Does it take all those little joys out of our life?
I know spirituality is actually associated with our psychological growth. Isn’t that natural?
I also know that it is an accomplishment as…
- It leads us to emotional maturity and a deeper understanding of self.
- It acquaints us with the darker aspects of our personality.
- We can recognize the emotions that weaken us.
- We develop the ability to embrace pain.
- We learn to bridge the gap between pain and pleasure.
- We cultivate the resilience to face inner demons, which we flee from.
- We become sensitive to disparities around us.
Spiritual awakening:
It dawns very slowly; sometimes it astonishes us with its presence in some unknown crevice of our heart.
When we start discarding negative thoughts, when we begin to understand the feelings and emotions of people around us, when we adapt to changes without any grunts, when we adopt a positive approach to life, when self-healing becomes our goal – we may be gearing towards spiritualism.
Spirituality, as we know today has detached itself from religion and centers around values and humanistic ideas. It concentrates on personal wellbeing and inner peace.
It emphasizes on meditation, mindfulness, tolerance and ethics.
Yes, it matures us; it keeps us grounded but it doesn’t compel us to become another Buddha or his follower.
We can still run into the welcoming arms of rain whenever we feel the urge.
The pleasure of wading into the waves doesn’t lessen.
The glow of moon appears as mesmerizing as ever.
The bubbly aspect of our personality may not hit the surface but it remains intact!
“Spirituality can release blocks, lead you to ideas and make your life artful.” – Julia Cameron.
Are you spiritual?
Many of us don’t realize when spiritual awakening sends vibes of positivity. We may still be in deep slumber. I didn’t know my leanings till my dear friend noticed and coerced me towards introspection.
- Awareness:
When spiritual awakening hits, you feel something is different around you. It may take some time to really understand why you find peace in giving, why you condone the little irks that provoked you earlier and why compassion is inching closer.
- You feel a light within you:
You become your own counselor as you can understand and experience the emotional changes in your heart. You are willing to accept those changes. Often you find yourself talking to yourself and feel a craving to forget and forgive all that has been bothering you.
- You feel detached:
Attachments no longer clasp you; the drift begins slowly and you can comprehend that all relationships are hollow, phony and transient. You find immense solace in detachment. The pleasure of solitude becomes sweeter and more fulfilling.
- You feel connected with Nature:
Your relationship with your surroundings inspire you to breathe deeply, to gaze at the sky and reach that horizon, which shines with the brightest light, you start getting answers to all your questions, you know how to calm human ego. The tranquility of Nature seeps into your spirit.
- You feel in consonance with your emotions:
Distress, annoyance, disappointment and all such discomforting emotions merge into the harmony of thoughts. You feel free, floating like clouds, blending in the unknown blue. Your inner voice becomes stronger; you start listening to it with greater confidence.
Let me remind my dear friend that I am not becoming spiritual but I am not scared of learning more about it. If spirituality brings me closer to peace of mind and eternal happiness, I would like to explore it further. To say it in the words of John Bradshaw, “The spiritual quest is not some added benefit to our life, something you embark on if you have the time and inclination. We are spiritual beings on an earthly journey. Our spirituality makes up our beingness.”
Do you believe we are spiritual beings? Has spiritual awakening ever nudged you? Do you struggle with your emotions? I would love to hear your views.
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Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable comments, they are much appreciated.
Balroop Singh.
Emotional Shadows 