How Writing Can Help Us In Dealing With Emotions

Writing

Writing is one of the most amazing gifts that we receive with life. When a child learns to put the alphabets together, when he starts using those words into small, broken sentences, he hardly knows that he is learning the best of all the ingenuities available to human beings to share their emotions.

Those who get an opportunity to develop and enhance this skill at an early age feel blessed when they can use this as to tool to calm down their emotions.

Have you heard about writing therapy? My friend Kim of My Inner Chick has been using it since the untimely, unfortunate demise of her sister Kay, who was murdered by her own husband.

I too have experienced its therapeutic appeal!

Have you felt the cathartic and liberating effect of writing?

Whether it is expressive writing, writing for pleasure or creative writing – it is the best outlet for those emotions, which are difficult to express and lurk deeper within the inner recesses of our heart.

As a student I had read what Aldous Huxley said about writing: “Words can be like X-rays if you use them properly — they’ll go through anything.”

I have often deliberated about this bizarre analogy…X-rays always conjured up darkness before my eyes but I could understand the import of his words only now…when I can discern what role darkness plays in our lives…how it props us up to look for light, almost impels us towards it…how it raises our hopes!

Writing makes us happier:

The elation of recording our feelings is so fulfilling, so heartwarming that many people develop the habit of writing a journal. We can create our own world of fantasy, in which all the characters are mere puppets in our hands. We can unlock all the doors, as the keys are in our possession…what a wonderful feeling!

Writing inspires:

Inspiration comes in many shapes and forms and writing is surely one of them. It gives an impetus to our desires. When we write down about our aspirations and goals, our dreams begin to take shape. We start feeling that we are on the chosen track and through writing; we can plan as well as take stock of our achievements, quite frequently.

Writing organizes our thoughts:Writing Quote

It gives clarity to those ideas, which are confusing or blurred. It calms us down and leads us to self-discovery. With practice, words become our best friends, teach us tolerance, control our anger and rein our negative thoughts. They slash those emotional walls down, which ward off our progress towards becoming a better person.

Writing keeps us busy:

Like reading, writing keeps our mind occupied and takes us to the next level…of honing our skills, of embellishing our imagination, of drowning all the anxieties and loneliness in the ocean of words. The pleasure of this activity can only be felt when we start sharing our solitude with the words. It keeps our mind healthy and active.

 Writing heals:

All those hurts, the agony, the emotional throttling gets assuaged when we pour it out, when we weave a wreath of words to be placed on those buried memories, when we share it in the form of a poem, a story or that precious book we write. Healing starts the moment we pen down our thoughts. We feel relieved. We learn to forgive. We rise above human imperfections.

“I can shake off everything as I write; my sorrows disappear, my courage is reborn.” –Anne Frank

Writing sets us free:

Writing has given me wings. I can fly anytime, anywhere. I often perch on the branches of my favorite trees and can communicate with everyone without any reticence. All those who sit far away, in the comfort of their homes can hear me as I let my voice merge into the clouds that float around, merrily.

Have you experienced the power of writing? How has it affected you?

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Balroop Singh.

Spiritual Awakening – Why ‘Spirituality’ Seems A Scary Word?

SpiritualityOne of my friends, who must have read my ‘One Year Journey’ advised me: ‘Keep blogging but remain as bubbly as ever. Don’t become spiritual.’

Her observation set me thinking.

Do I sound spiritual? I have never consciously tried to be one!

I may have liked those who believe in spiritualism. I could have even mentioned them as my friends but becoming spiritual is a far-fetched thought.

Do we pick up spiritualism just like a new box of cookies?

While pondering over the comment of my friend, my thoughts veered towards understanding this term and why it seems to be scary to some.

Why shouldn’t I become spiritual? Does it take all those little joys out of our life?

I know spirituality is actually associated with our psychological growth. Isn’t that natural?

I also know that it is an accomplishment as…

  • It leads us to emotional maturity and a deeper understanding of self.
  • It acquaints us with the darker aspects of our personality.
  • We can recognize the emotions that weaken us.
  • We develop the ability to embrace pain.
  • We learn to bridge the gap between pain and pleasure.
  • We cultivate the resilience to face inner demons, which we flee from.
  • We become sensitive to disparities around us.

Spiritual awakening:

It dawns very slowly; sometimes it astonishes us with its presence in some unknown crevice of our heart.

When we start discarding negative thoughts, when we begin to understand the feelings and emotions of people around us, when we adapt to changes without any grunts, when we adopt a positive approach to life, when self-healing becomes our goal – we may be gearing towards spiritualism.

Spiritual Awakening

Spirituality, as we know today has detached itself from religion and centers around values and humanistic ideas. It concentrates on personal wellbeing and inner peace.

It emphasizes on meditation, mindfulness, tolerance and ethics.

Yes, it matures us; it keeps us grounded but it doesn’t compel us to become another Buddha or his follower.

We can still run into the welcoming arms of rain whenever we feel the urge.

The pleasure of wading into the waves doesn’t lessen.

The glow of moon appears as mesmerizing as ever.

The bubbly aspect of our personality may not hit the surface but it remains intact!

“Spirituality can release blocks, lead you to ideas and make your life artful.” – Julia Cameron.

Are you spiritual?

Many of us don’t realize when spiritual awakening sends vibes of positivity. We may still be in deep slumber. I didn’t know my leanings till my dear friend noticed and coerced me towards introspection.

  1. Awareness:

When spiritual awakening hits, you feel something is different around you. It may take some time to really understand why you find peace in giving, why you condone the little irks that provoked you earlier and why compassion is inching closer.

  1. You feel a light within you:

You become your own counselor as you can understand and experience the emotional changes in your heart. You are willing to accept those changes. Often you find yourself talking to yourself and feel a craving to forget and forgive all that has been bothering you.

  1. You feel detached:

Attachments no longer clasp you; the drift begins slowly and you can comprehend that all relationships are hollow, phony and transient. You find immense solace in detachment. The pleasure of solitude becomes sweeter and more fulfilling.

  1. You feel connected with Nature:

Your relationship with your surroundings inspire you to breathe deeply, to gaze at the sky and reach that horizon, which shines with the brightest light, you start getting answers to all your questions, you know how to calm human ego. The tranquility of Nature seeps into your spirit.

  1. You feel in consonance with your emotions:

Distress, annoyance, disappointment and all such discomforting emotions merge into the harmony of thoughts. You feel free, floating like clouds, blending in the unknown blue. Your inner voice becomes stronger; you start listening to it with greater confidence.

Let me remind my dear friend that I am not becoming spiritual but I am not scared of learning more about it. If spirituality brings me closer to peace of mind and eternal happiness, I would like to explore it further. To say it in the words of John Bradshaw, “The spiritual quest is not some added benefit to our life, something you embark on if you have the time and inclination. We are spiritual beings on an earthly journey. Our spirituality makes up our beingness.”

Do you believe we are spiritual beings? Has spiritual awakening ever nudged you? Do you struggle with your emotions? I would love to hear your views.

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Balroop Singh.

 

 

The Reality of Happy Marriages!

Oscar-Wilde-Marriage-Quotes-Images-300x199

When you enter into a solemn relationship, which has been named ‘marriage’, you have big dreams of sharing exhilarating moments of togetherness, of remaining happy and blessed.

Nobody ever thinks that this relationship would not last, human hope is so astounding that even after seeing unhappy marriages, we tell ourselves: ‘this can’t happen to me.’

Alas those promises we make, those visions we have, those reveries of heavenly life fall apart in no time… or so people think!

“Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years.” — Simone Signoret

Are there any happy marriages? What is the definition of a happy marriage?

There can be as many definitions as people because what may seem unhappy to you could be just a compulsion, a family commitment, a sacrifice, which would be a part of being married.

Fawn Weaver’s words, “Marriage is like watching the color of leaves in the fall; ever changing and more stunningly beautiful with each passing day” are so entrancing!

#CASE – 1

This is an arranged marriage. The bride steps into the two-bedroom apartment of her husband, whose parents and an old, ailing grandmother share this home, which seems be a harmonious dwelling.

Slowly the bride realizes that her happiness lies in submitting to the wishes and desires of all the members of the family as her husband also thinks so.

She gets used to fulfilling all the demands and peace prevails though she has many issues.

Since she is a home maker, she has to dance to the tunes of elderly members of the house all the time, depend on her husband for all her needs, she gets no money for her personal expenses, she has no leisure, she can’t go out alone, has to coax her husband for a vacation, once a year because children need to be taken out. [Peer-group pressure] She has never mentioned the word – ‘divorce.’

Do you think they are happily married? They think so.

#CASE – 2

This is a love marriage, which seems to be like that fairy tale ‘the happily married ever after.’

This couple lives in a big mansion.

Both are financially independent, inseparable and so loving that people envy their blessings.

They enjoy exotic holidays and find great pleasure in each other’s company but they fight almost everyday. Any argument by the wife is met with physical abuse, which is condoned by her each time!

She seems to be slightly better than a slave because she can only go out with her husband, she has to accept all his decisions, domestic violence and be happy.

How she can put up the façade is an enigma. She cannot think of the word – ‘divorce.’

Do you think they are happily married? They think so!

#CASE – 3

This is an arranged marriage and the couple lives in their own apartment with their lovely, intelligent children.

Their world revolves around them, they have all the freedom in the world to take their own decisions, they care for each other and love is the core word that binds them together.

There are some issues with this couple too!

Their busy life has taken the charm out of their own love, they hardly have any sex life, their communication centers around the activities and achievements of their children and they have been drifting apart slowly.

Sometimes they wonder whether there is anything left in their life.

Should they stay together? They feel it is their responsibility to give the best of everything to their children.

They do think about divorce.

Do you think they are happily married? They have their doubts!Happy Marriage

Sometimes I think about these multi-dimensional words – happiness and unhappiness!

We use them so often, so casually but rarely do we ponder about their dimensions!

Let’s face the reality:

Unhappy marriages are more a product of the mind and modern philosophy of being independent.

It is this individualistic approach towards marriage, which makes it unhappy.

It depicts the self-centeredness of human beings who want to be themselves yet seek a companion for reasons best known to them.

The institution of marriage was created to cement love, affection, responsibilities and values, which could be handed down to the coming generations too.

“In every marriage, more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and to continue to find, grounds for marriage.” – Robert Anderson

All relationships go through initial period of uncertainty and need some time to work out well. No marriage can ever be perfect. Compromises and adjustments are an essential part of every relationship.

Some questions to contemplate:

How ego, bitterness and annoyance creep into a sacred relationship of marriage is quite uncanny.

How it can be sacrificed at the altar of Individual differences, coldness and monotony is so bizarre!

How can we think of divorcing a person with whom we have spent half of our life? Isn’t it so selfish?

This post was inspired by this thought, which has been plaguing me ever since I heard that one of my neighbors father is going to divorce her mother, a lady in her sixties and she needs a therapist to cope up with this windfall.

I know this is not the first case. I know divorce rate is rising in free, financially stable countries. I know people are developing the resilience to face such situations.

Isn’t it unfortunate that we have diminished the sacred bond that ties families? What can we expect from the youngsters who grow up in such societies? I would love to hear your views.

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Balroop Singh.

Image credits: inspirequotes.net

 

One-Year Journey…And It Continues!

First Anniversary

I shall be completing one year of blogging this week and so far this flight on the wings of words has been the most pleasant one. It has given me those precious moments of creative relaxation, which I had always yearned for in my extremely busy hours of life.

It was never on my mind that I would write a blog one day or I had so many moods, emotions and words to express my feelings. A person of few words, I always found poetry a more suitable genre of expression.

When I took the plunge, it was more out of impulse.

The number of blogs and the competition bewildered me.

Yet I found some calm and complacent bloggers, who find pleasure just in writing and guiding. They have been my biggest encouragement.

The Enticement:

My journey started one fine day when I stumbled upon a very inspiring blog and the beautiful reflections were so appealing that I couldn’t resist the temptation to share my thoughts. I am referring to:

IMG_Sandra_Outside-Croppedhttp://alwayswellwithin.com, managed by my loving, spiritual friend Sandra Pawula writer, teacher, and champion of mindfulness and ease. She helps people who are willing to think deeply and look within to find peace, happiness and freedom.

Her articles have the magic to transport you into her company, give you the privilege of basking in her spiritual journey, flow slowly with her enchanting words and feel… all is well, all around us and within us! She has truly changed so much within me, with her words. No words of gratitude are enough for her as she helped me discover an unknown aspect of my personality.

How I learnt to blog:

Ramsay_Blog_TyrantOne day, while reading one of the articles at her blog, I came across a comment by www.Blogtyrant.com and got inquisitive. I visited this blog and his inspiring words were so infectious that they infused a new wave of confidence in me. I felt that I too could learn to blog. His step-by-step guidelines and advice was so effective and encouraging that I was actually able to create this platform to give vent to my emotions. No wonder his blog is amazingly busy! Thank you Ramsey for revealing all the tech jargon in a very simple language.

I found the music of my soul here:

W3WpGsaA_400x400http://positiveprovocations.com totally draped and swathed with positivity, always living up to its name, Zeenat Merchant Syal is the zeenat (glory) of this blog, which is her ‘little piece of Heaven.’

She strives for a happier, more loving and positive world in and around her. She inspires and motivates her readers to be the best and the happiest. She is a practicing counseling psychologist, spiritual counselor, motivational speaker, naturopath, holistic healer and a writer.

Zeenat’s mesmerizing words of robust optimism and tenacious positivity impel you to visit her the moment she updates her blog. Her soft and gentle nudge awakens you out of your slumber to realize that with loving care, positive thoughts and actions everything can be achieved, personally as well as professionally.

And I found the wings:

Harleena-SinghBy now I had learnt the tricks of hopping from one blog to another and I came across an amazing friend, Harleena, ‘the Queen Blogger’ and for the first time I saw that blogs could be so organized and blogging can be a serious business.

www.aha-now.com, a haven of personal development and self-improvement is managed by Harleena, who is a positive thinker, a freelance writer and benevolent beyond belief. She loves to write inspiring and thought provoking posts on family, relationships, health, and myriad other aspects of life. She is an anchor for all those who want to solve the problems of their life in a realistic manner. No wonder her popularity in the blogosphere is unparalleled. Her unstinted support has given wings to ‘Emotional Shadows.’

My first steadfast friend:

Mike-And-Phoenix-About-Me-Pic-300x300He visited my blog when I didn’t have any friends; when I was still stumbling and wavering, when I didn’t know how to build up communications. I am extremely thankful to Mike and Phoenix, for being an embodiment of genuine friendship. I value it immensely.

Mike Vogler of http://pastmycurfew.com, who calls himself ‘a night owl’, has been my first committed friend and follower who always encouraged me with his thoughtful words. His son and soul mate, Phoenix, his golden retriever, who activated his energies, watched him with the most sensuous expression in his eyes when he sits at his keyboard, writing about places he’d like to visit, food he’d like to eat, and reflecting on the crazy things that happen in his life. His pictures speak more than his words! The food he cooks and the way he enjoys his cooking can beat the best of chefs! Phoenix, his most doting confidante always looked at him as if to ask why he is so passionate about every little detail and why he keeps writing so late at night!

Sadly Phoenix was snatched away recently by the callous monster – cancer, though both Phoenix and Mike fought fiercely against it.

How I learnt to communicate in blogosphere:

BlogPostPhotoThrough aha-now.com, I found another wonderful friend, Adrienne Smith – ‘the Engagement Superstar’…the Empress of Cordiality… and a totally new world unfolded before me when I visited www.adriennesmith.net. As soon as I signed up for her newsletter, I realized how communications are built. Her warmth can leap up to you through her words and her altruistic outlook can infuse a new spirit into your thoughts. She thinks she was born to help people and they keep streaming into her blog to learn how to be successful, how to build such an engaging community, why she has so many return visitors to her blog.

Then I met the Wisdom Guru!

b363bb323060b10dab99bbb2876abaafI would also like to express my deepest gratitude to Vishnu, of http://www.vishnusvirtues.com – an online wisdom-filled sanctuary. I was attracted to his site due to the unique name and was not disappointed! True to his name he is not only providing enlightenment and support to all those who get in touch with him but also preserving all that can be salvaged from their broken dreams to bring clarity and purpose to their life.

Vishnu speaks from his heart and his words always touch your soul. The pearls of his wisdom have been recorded in the annals of ‘Emotional Shadows’ too.

I have met many more wonderful friends like you and so my journey continues with the support of each one of you and all those silent admirers who visit my humble abode of creativity.

I look forward to the support of each one of you. Your feedback is a valuable asset; please keep contributing your insights.

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Balroop Singh