Personality – Page 7 – Emotional Shadows

How Emotional Vibes Of Colors Affect Our Personality

Published on June 22, 2015June 22, 2015 by balroop singh32 Comments

Colors have always fascinated me as they are directly linked to emotions. Bright and happy colors spread vibes of ecstasy all around. They accentuate our celebrations and merge into our moods.

Colors respond to emotions and moods intuitively. They lend a new perspective to our lives.

It has been our tradition to wear bright colors for happy occasions to add that extra merry tinge to them. Muted colors are chosen for somber occasions.

My fascination for colors started very early, as I liked to paint more because I could play with various colors, mix them and create my own wonderful shades.

Growing up with the colors of my little garden made me understand and respect their significance. Watching flowers and butterflies was my favorite past time. Much of my love for nature is connected with the colors.

When Leigh Hunt said, ‘Colors are the smiles of nature’, he must have felt the emotional vibes of colors.

I learned to smile from colourful flowers, the rainbow and the sunset.

Colors of nature are more alluring as their hues change in the most natural manner.

Have you noticed the colors of the sky and the clouds…the dawn, the dusk and the dark clouds?

Gray may be a drab color but it keeps us riveted till thunder and lightening shake us out of our reflections. Its association with rain makes it all the more meaningful.

Gray also defines our romantic temperament!

Green, the most soothing and harmonious color binds us with Mother Nature. It emits positive vibes of growth, giving, prosperity and all embracing emotion. The exquisite attachments it creates are eternal!

I wonder how it fell into the hands of jealousy. Shakespeare’s ‘green-eyed monster’ doesn’t relate to the upbeat vibes of green color.

Blue color carries the vastness of the sky and the depth of the oceans, it breathes serenity and contentment and its shades merge all the emotions of fear, hope and trust.

Blue evokes divine blessings and infuses us with unflinching confidence when we say… ‘Sky is the limit’!

“Red is such an interesting color to correlate with emotion because it’s on both ends of the spectrum. On one end you have happiness, falling in love, infatuation with some one, passion, all that. On the other end, you’ve got obsession, jealousy, danger, fear, anger and frustration.” – Taylor Swift

Red has been my favorite color… how it got associated with danger, fear and anger is difficult to understand as red roses symbolize love and passion.

It is the most vibrant color that helps us thrive, the color of our blood, symbolic of life and energy.

A bride in Asian countries wears Red, which is the color of celebrating new sensitivities and relationships.

Red carpet welcome denotes honor, respect and grand reception but at the same time a red card or a red flag changes the whole vibrational frequency of this color!

The meaning and significance of many colors change according to places, cultures and circumstances.

The paradoxical uses of white are amazingly enigmatic.

White may be a color of purity, faith and innocence but it is worn at the weddings as well as funerals!

Black is as perplexing as white as it represents different meanings for people, occasions and cultures. A symbol of grief, it is also preferred for formal parties with great penchant.

When the night is black, the silvery white moon illuminates it with its unique color…its emotional appeal reaches many hearts and inspires the poets!

Yellow and orange, the beautiful colors of fall, of Sun and sunshine… a symbol of love, happiness, hope and heat. They blend into the blue to create a heavenly mesmerizing scene at the beginning and end of each day.

Ironically, they are also associated with fire, denoting danger but it was fire that introduced man to new avenues of progress.

Do you know we have only three primary colors? Red, yellow and blue.

All other colors are created from the combination of these colors. They are mixed and muted to create various shades for summer, winter and spring.

Do you know colors can change our emotional responses and our appearance? They can make us look happy or sad, heavier or lighter, romantic or boring!

If you want to see a riot of colors, visit India. Some of the states like Rajasthan, Punjab and Gujarat are a living example of the brightest outfits, worn without any second thought.

Tulip gardens too present an outstanding specimen of how much colors attract us and affect our emotions.

What are your favorite colors? I have always loved the shades of pink and red and magenta. They keep me buoyant all the time!

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Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable comments, they are much appreciated.

Balroop Singh.

How Passive Aggression Can Be Harmful For Your Personality And Relationships

Published on May 25, 2015May 25, 2015 by balroop singh15 Comments

Aggression has been defined as a ‘hostile or violent behavior’ towards others and when it becomes passive, it is extremely detrimental because it does not manifest itself, it remains under the surface and the façade of goodness misleads us till the simmering emotions overflow into a big explosion.

Such a behavior can be quite confounding for a layman.

According to Kendra Cherry, a Psychology expert, “The phrase passive-aggressive is used to describe behavior or a personality trait that involves acting indirectly aggressive rather than directly aggressive. Passive-aggressive people regularly exhibit resistance to requests or demands from family and other individuals often by procrastinating, expressing sullenness, or acting stubborn.”

The American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) has classified passive-aggressiveness as many things throughout the years. It’s been called a “personality style”, “hidden hostility”, a “defense mechanism”, a “personality disorder” and “negativistic.”

How do we recognize such persons who may be around us – in the form of our near and dear ones? Some of the obvious signs may be glaring at you.

Signs of Passive Aggressive Behavior:

They are non-communicative and avoid dialogue.
They lack assertiveness.
Silent hostility and emotional blackmail is their weapon.
They avoid confrontation but are good manipulators.
They conceal their true feelings for a long time.
They fail to see reason and logic, even when explained.
They have no respect for others’ emotions.
They can be quite self-centered and vindictive.

Kelly often talks about renouncing this world. She wants a simpler life; she wants to calm her mind down as peace of mind has always eluded her.

She has made every possible effort to attain it within the confines of her home and culture. A vivacious and beautiful woman, she possessed the most captivating smile and could charm anybody with her personality…a disposition, which had been nurtured by the values of care, love, loyalty and integrity, so rarely found in the modern era of self-love.

A victim of passive aggression for almost ten years in her own home, she has been making the best possible efforts to deal with it but it has affected her own psyche so deeply that she is at the brink of a breakdown.

That is how passive aggression hurts, not only one person but also all those around us.

It spreads negative energy:

People who are passively aggressive hold a lot of negative energy within themselves and it molds their thoughts. Since they choose to withhold all those feelings of anger and resentment within their heart and carry themselves, wearing a mask of pretended goodness, it cannot reach anybody. Negative vibes are strong enough to filter through their persona and can be felt by friends, siblings, spouse etc.

It fails to address practical problems:

Passive aggressive people evade real life problems and procrastinate, which keeps on building. Any work, which needs immediate attention, is deliberately ignored to prove their imaginative point because nobody could know what is going on in their mind. They behave as if they are absolutely comfortable with people they dislike, as they believe that they can solve their problems in their own silent way but they fail miserably.

It blocks communication:

When interaction with each other falls apart, when feelings and emotions are not discussed with an open mind and heart and when others are expected to determine the reasons of passive aggression, an untold harm is caused to both who display this behavior and those who have to bear the brunt of their attitude. Lack of communication is very unhealthy for relationships.

It ruins relationships:

Happy relationships thrive on a good, honest and truthful demeanor, which is given a boot by passively aggressive people. Since they have the tendency to do everything secretly and could lie to cover up, it becomes extremely damaging for relationships. Their façade gets exposed sooner or later as it is impossible to befool the people around us with whom we spend a considerable period of time.

It creates distrust:

Such people lose the trust of their closest possible kin, as their fake nature can be well understood. Can you rely on such a person who hides his real feelings and emotions? Once the trust is lost, it is very difficult to restore it. Even the honest intentions of such a person can be doubted, thereby making him/her vulnerable.

Passive aggression is like a volcano, waiting to burst when the anger becomes unbearable. Such a person needs empathy and therapy albeit he may resist all your efforts.

How to help yourself:

Self- talk to build up your confidence, keep your thoughts positive and your hope alive.
Keep your emotions especially anger under control to deal with such people.
Share your thoughts and emotions with a trusted friend or sibling.
Discuss and try to make the passive aggressor aware of the harmful behavior.
Seek professional help and therapy to keep the relationship alive.

Nothing can change overnight. Patience and consistent efforts to deal with such behavior may bring some positive results.

It is very easy to abandon such persons, as they would never even ask you the reason. However if they happen to be important in your life, you are in for some tough challenges.

Do you know any such people? How do you react to them? Do you possess any traits of passive aggression? I would love to hear your views.

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Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable comments, they are much appreciated.

Balroop Singh.

How Negative Emotions Can Be Beneficial For Our Personality?

Published on November 18, 2014January 21, 2018 by balroop singh30 Comments

Negative emotions are more powerful and dominant. They invade uninvited; they affect our thoughts and behavior instantaneously and refuse to be tamed easily.

Since childhood we are trained to control these emotions but however hard we may try to bury them, they keep coming back, raising their ugly head again and again to remind us that we have to confront them.

We are encouraged to dismiss them, shun them as their implicit impact is considered to be negative – a streak that discolors our personality.

I don’t support this outlook.

My conviction is that negative emotions play a meaningful role in molding our personality:

They unlatch the doors of understanding and learning
They enhance our confidence
They give us a wide exposure
They impel us towards introspection
They help us in developing resilience
They assist us in building better relationships

“Negative emotions like loneliness, envy and guilt have an important role to play in a happy life; they’re big, flashing signs that something needs to change.” – Gretchen Rubin

Lets analyze them.

Anger:

It may be a natural emotion but it is detested by all. Angry outbursts often make us unpopular but it is only after we have experienced this emotion that we comprehend the need of calm behavior.

Anger has been my companion since childhood and whenever it got activated, I could feel the blood gushing through my veins as if they would burst, my blood pressure rising but in the whirlwind of anger, I could also experience its consequences, the unidentified thoughts rushing to issue a warning – enough!

When we watch an angry person, reacting in an uncivilized manner, don’t we get the alert? Don’t we promise ourselves to respect tranquility?

Anger may be a negative emotion but it leads us to positive paths of acceptance, of reflection and tolerance. When the anger subsides, we try to find some answers – what makes us angry? How can we check the flow of this negativity?

Anger slowly guides us towards serenity when we realize that the latter has incredible power to tame anger.

Hatred:

Nobody tells us to hate yet this innate emotion surfaces quite early when we are growing and forming our opinions about people.

It is through hatred that we learn the meaning of love. It is through this emotion that we learn about the prejudices against people and how important it is to overcome them.

The stark distinctions unravel before our own eyes when we meet different kinds of people.

“We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves.” – Mitch Albom

Whether hatred is directed towards a person or a group, an attitude or somebody’s behavior, deep rooted or temporary, this emotion disseminates a feeling of righteousness in the minds of people. It upholds the values of justice, honor and equality. One person’s hatred becomes another person’s lesson.

Fear:

The fear of loneliness keeps us connected with people, the fear of getting disliked teaches us at a very early age that we must be pleasant, kind and cooperative to our friends.

The fear of competition, the fear of failure, the fear of others’ success acquaints us with the most coveted values of life. These fears keep us motivated to stay focused, to struggle harder and learn from our disappointments.

The fear of losing our emotional anchors, the fear of the unknown, of being inadequate may frighten us but they also give us the courage to face the cruel realities of life.

The fear of uncertain future keeps us striving for something better. It adds greater value to our life.

It is the fear of dark that infuses in us the determination to find light, to hope for brighter days,

You must have experienced this dilemma of conquering fear, which makes us stronger and more resilient.

So why get scared of this negative emotion, which steers us towards positivity?

Sadness:

It is during the gloomy moments of life that we remember how blissful happiness is. Sadness shows us the cheerfulness in its right perspective.

We can value happiness only after we have encountered those depressing days we loathe.

Grief familiarizes us with those little joys we failed to appreciate when they lingered around us, unnoticed.

The blessings of life assume a special connotation after we emerge victorious from our suffering. It helps us develop patience, forbearance and calmness. It gives us the gift of introspection.

“Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.” – Hellen Keller

Anxiety, nervousness, jealousy, arrogance have one thing in common. They are natural teachers. If you follow them, befriend them; they may play with your emotions for a while but the prudence that accompanies them often seeps into your personality unawares.

Negative emotions are very subtle and deceptive. They absorb more energy but they often walk away victorious, testing our patience and strength, ennobling us, belittling our ego, thereby transforming us into humble human beings.

Do you dismiss negative emotions without dealing with them?

Do they knock you down or do you learn something positive from them?

I am eagerly waiting for your answers.

If you have liked this article, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Thank you for your support. Please share your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

Balroop Singh.

How To Enrich Your Personality With 3 Simple Values: #Consistency #dedication #sincerity

Published on November 4, 2014June 2, 2018 by balroop singh35 Comments

When I think of impressive personalities, consistency seems to be the most important requirement. We may feel more detached and free in today’s world, dedication and sincerity may appear to be a bit outdated but they are still revered and valued.

Consistency of principles and conduct give a distinctive shape to our personality. When we don’t change our behavior in the midst of crisis, under pressure or due to threats, when the influence of circumstances doesn’t crush us or change us, we can call ourselves consistent.

Consistency in relationships is the key to happiness and serenity. All relationships need an assurance, an assertion and an affirmation that they can be banked upon. Consistency lends that much needed emotional mortar to firm our relationships.

Consistent parents raise happy and healthy children and make a positive mark on their ever-evolving personality.

Dedication and sincerity are the offshoots of consistency, which align our actions with our concepts.

“Consistency makes the rain drops to create holes in the rock. Whatever is difficult can be done easily with regular attendance, attention and action.” -― Israelmore Ayivor

Just consider what consistency can do:

Consistency of thoughts evolves us into a better person. Even if our thoughts happen to be negative at times, they are shoved away by being positive and consistent.
Consistency of beliefs leads us through the darkest tunnels of our mind. Trust speaks to us during those disappointing moments to focus on positive aspects of life.
Consistency of values makes us a luminous personality. It makes us as tall and as bright as the lighthouse. People notice that consistency and get inspired.
Consistency of upright behavior endears us to all our acquaintances and friends who know that they can pin their hope on us.
Consistency of affirmative outlook sends a positive message to all those around us.
Consistency of diet, exercise and meditation keeps us healthy and fit.

Despite all the good that consistency brings to our relationships, and us… nobody cares about it! Why?

It is probably very demanding.

Demands of consistency:

Our actions should be in harmony with our values.
We must uphold our principles in all situations.
We treat all people with the same respect that we expect from them.
We need to maintain our integrity even during difficult times.
We have to come up to the expectations of others.

Our actions reveal our values and principles. If we don’t follow them consistently, we give out a clear message that we are faking our relationships. It is our behavior that exhibits what lies within us.‘ Without consistency there is no moral strength’- Owen

Dedication and sincerity:

I know these two terms are quite discomforting. One day, when I was emphasizing on their importance, one of my students kept staring at me in a strange manner, very clearly conveying through his looks that I was going overboard and should come back to the topic, which had triggered the so called ‘sermon.’

I could never forget those looks!

Those looks followed me, haunted me yet they couldn’t deter me from talking about these values whenever I got the opportunity.

Consistency, dedication and sincerity can enrich your personality.

How they help:

My conviction is that it is our zeal, our passion for work, which makes us noticeable. Whether you are a homemaker, trying to make your home more comfortable and loving, an entrepreneur or an ordinary worker, dedication and sincerity gleam through your work.

My friend, we can call her ‘Sage’ was so committed to her work that she was the admiration and envy of her colleagues, some of them waiting in the grass to pull her down the ladder of success. That did not deter her from her path.

She didn’t change her personality to please others.

She didn’t worry about being disliked.

She became a source of inspiration for many young men and women who were aspiring to make a mark through their work.

She has got many accolades for completing all the projects within the stipulated time despite the challenges she had to face in the form of limited resources and lack of support.

All those who interact with her immensely esteem her sincerity.

“When pure sincerity forms within, it is outwardly realized in other people’s hearts.” – Lao Tzu

Sincerity is like ‘truth’, which gives more of pain and poise but has long-term effects.

Have you ever felt admiration and pride for some persons? In what way are they special?

Have you aspired to emulate those affable personalities?

Were you attracted by their pleasing traits? Which one impresses you the most? I would love to hear your views.

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Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable comments, they are much appreciated.

Balroop Singh.