Listening is a basic skill, without which we cannot learn any language. Babies listen to human sounds and learn to say their first words. Yet we forget this when we have learnt to talk!
We interrupt, we disparage, we judge, we tune off, we argue, we shout when we don’t want to listen.
We can say a lot without actually uttering a word but listening is only possible if we pay attention.
Do you pay attention when you are listening? Just pause and think.
In today’s world, where multitasking is considered to be a superb skill, listening gets drowned in the maze of messaging, tweeting and checking updates on irresistible digital devices in our hands or the urge to catch up with our favorite shows.
A good communication can resolve all differences but both the sides have to listen. It is very easy to talk, talk and talk but when it comes to listening, often we presume what the other person has to say.
Just see how listening can do wonders:
- It facilitates effective communication:
When we are ready to listen we convey a calm message that we respect the other person, we are ready to dispel misunderstandings and arguments. As peter Drucker said, “the most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said.” When we listen quietly and courteously, we may pick up those unsaid feelers. When we look into the eyes of the communicator, we may catch those vibes, which wont reach us if we are distracted.
- It improves relationships:
Listening ushers warmth into our bonds, it fosters care and trust. We know we can talk about any issue and we would be given the required attention. When we don’t listen to other person’s perspective, we tend to create our own images, which could be highly misleading. It is better to discuss your prejudices than harbor them and let them breed misinterpretations.
- It helps us understand people:
There are many kinds of people and we can’t possibly know them without a bridge of communication between us. Those who pretend to be our friends at our workplace, those who may exploit us for their own professional strength and those who just create rifts by badmouthing. How do we know their true value? Only by listening to their side of the story and keeping our relationship networks open can we truly know their worth.
- It can calm emotions:
Good listening gives a natural boost to positive emotions but at the same time it rebuffs negative emotions like angst, anger, fear and stress. All clouds of doubt and discord disintegrate. We feel loved and relieved as our pent up thoughts get an outlet. A lot of burden gets offloaded and we can move ahead with new hopes.
- It leads us to profound lessons
Listening can make us better persons as it can motivate, inspire and encourage us to accomplish our goals. We can gather a lot of information, develop working relationships with those we may not like and work on social interactions, which can define our hidden potential. It can drive introverts out of their shell, promote acceptance as a way of life and understand that imperfections are normal.
Please remember! Listening doesn’t mean getting intimidated and bullied into whatever the other person says.
It means a healthy exchange of ideas and thoughts so that we can understand each other better.
It means erecting an edifice of empathetic approach and to be more positive.
It means learning analytical skills, which can foster healthy living.
It means we need to control our outbursts, be more considerate and forthcoming.
If listening has not been taught to you, it is never too late.
“There is as much wisdom in listening as there is in speaking–and that goes for all relationships, not just romantic ones.”- Daniel Dae Kim
Do you value listening? What has it taught you? I would love to hear your views.
Thank you for reading this. Please add your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.
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Balroop Singh.
Emotional Shadows 