“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.” -Robert Frost
I wish life could have been as simple as that!
You may like to smile but you have to deal with those who frown at you.
We keep making plans and life passes by, reminding us that we can’t even hold a single second.
It is important to define your passion:
Life without a passion is a rudderless boat, which is tossed and turned by people around us. If you don’t know what you want from life, pause and reflect. Are you running the race without any goal in sight? Are you motivated enough to pursue that? Blessed are those who can discern the difference between passion and ambition.
I have heard the sane advice many times – ‘it’s never too late to follow your passion.’ But by the time I discovered it, I didn’t have the time and the money to put into it. My emotional bonds encompassed me so firmly that I couldn’t break free from them; my values didn’t permit me to unshackle myself. So I let it go.
I often tell myself…life is like that. It offered me love and duties and I found happiness in them. Acceptance makes us prudent, aligns us with the realities of life and makes us resilient.
Don’t bury your bucket list:
It may be very necessary to have a free spirit but we often ignore it for the sake of others. Our dear ones occupy a precious place in our hearts and we give prominence to them most of the times.
If we don’t do so we feel adrift, yearning for somebody who really cares, who occupies the most important place in our life.
Many times we forget our own self, our wishes remain buried within us; we call it love and benevolence but some corner of the heart keeps smoldering.
Pay attention to that corner of your heart. I created my bucket list but buried it in that corner. Many parts got charred before I turned my attention to that list. It is before me now and I have convinced myself… ‘it is never too late to fulfill your wishes, it is perfectly fine to add some more and I am grateful to be healthy to empty my bucket.
All dreams are achievable:
I realized it too late but I am glad I could develop that discerning eye. I have been dropping many dreams, as I couldn’t get the support, I thought they were risky, fears could convince me and I felt I was not ready. Time and tide don’t wait and so they carried them away while I looked helplessly.
We need the inspiration, the resources and the determination. Apparently one of them was missing. Probably I was too naïve to build up a crushing spirit, to rise above the challenges but I don’t have any regrets.
However, I know now that dreams remain dormant if we don’t share them, if we don’t work on them and if we get confounded by the fears. Nobody would pay any attention to them if you don’t.
Don’t judge:
I know it is basic human nature to form opinions, sometimes even without knowing others properly. I know we get this habit from our surroundings. All the time people around me judged me, without actually knowing why I am an introvert, why I hold my head up when I walk or why I don’t smile much. They even judged my sense of dressing up!
My boss called me arrogant but my close friends knew that I wore a mask to insulate myself from hurts. Some of my colleagues found me rude while some found me very warm and friendly.
Whose opinion would you accept? Judgments can be delusive.
I am not trying to say that I was never prejudiced. It was natural for me to pick up what I saw but life has taught me that judgments can be biased and they serve no useful purpose. Nobody likes to be judged.
I took all kinds of judgment in a positive manner, some of which helped me to learn smiling and become a better person.
Don’t regret:
Nobody has a perfect life – so why have regrets? Accept them, live with them.
When I was too naïve, I couldn’t see through the tricks of people, I couldn’t understand when they played with my emotions but none of that is my fault, the onus falls on them.
If you couldn’t follow your passion or made a wrong choice, it is futile to grieve over the past, as you didn’t have any control over it. Regrets pull us backwards.
Did you hurt somebody? You may not have done it consciously. Was your apology unacceptable to a dear one? It doesn’t matter because you have done all you could.
I have always accepted such experiences as lessons that life has taught me. I have consistently moved ahead with fresh confidence and fortitude.
When we look at the positive aspect of those regrets, we can get over them.
Detachment is inevitable:
While it is easy to detach from money, power and people, emotional attachments control us. They cloud our judgment, they refuse to let go, they are like a lump in the throat, which can only be felt. Detachment may be distressing and paralyzing but it is the reality of life.
We have to let go. We have to give wings to our children who want to soar. We have to come back to square one and find new activities. Most cherished relationships end, near and dear ones pass on into another world and we have to accept.
Thank you for reading this. It was becoming too lengthy and therefore I have cut it short here only.
Please share your views about the lessons that life has taught you.
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Balroop Singh.
Emotional Shadows 