friendship – Page 2 – Emotional Shadows

This is my third post on Arrogance, which is inspired from organic traffic.

This word – ‘Arrogance’ is detested by all due to the negative energy it carries but we all like to know more about its aspects and dimensions. Have you read how it can harm our personality?

Arrogance leads you into a self-created glittering world, making you the protagonist of those realms and the throne that feeds your ego is placed at a higher pedestal. It is very difficult to look at others with compassion and love when you gaze from that exalted throne.

Self-love dominates your thoughts and all those around you appear to be your friends and admirers.

Arrogance dwells in such a shallow zone where relationships do not hold any relevance. So friendship and arrogance can never move hand in hand.

Self-importance guides arrogance:

You have to step down from that platform of superciliousness to befriend people but your haughty nature doesn’t let you step down. You think you have a lot of friends and indeed you can see yourself surrounded by many people.

Admirers can never be your true friends. They would surround you till you entertain them, party with them and let your money flow freely for their benefit.

Arrogance detests emotions:

The only emotions that seem to be of any importance to arrogant persons are those, which concern them. If they have been snubbed at some stage of life, they carry that pain in their heart forever. If they have not been treated justly, they would call the whole humanity unjust. When they hide their true emotions from their friends, the latter can understand their demeanor.

Arrogance doesn’t trust anybody:

Trust is the main plank of true friendship but arrogant people are always on their guard. Their relationships remain superficial. They fail to open their heart to their friends and therefore their friendship never crosses that line of mutual trust. Those who try to be friendly with such people often discover this trait and walk off, feeling cheated.

Nobody likes to be judged and controlled:

Arrogance is that intoxication, which never lets you come to your senses. Those who acquire this trait think highly of themselves and try to judge even their friends. They manipulate them in various ways, which is always disliked. How long can any friend bear such a behavior?

Arrogance mocks at humility:

Such people consider humility to be a weakness. They look down upon benevolent and humble friends, which exposes their own hollowness. Virtues are very hard to maintain and therefore all those who try to endure the behavior of arrogant persons give up out of disappointment.

Arrogance thrives on dominance:

Would you like your friend to control your thoughts, influence you into doing something you may not be comfortable with? Arrogant people are compulsive rulers. They want to govern your feelings, your time and even your likes. They take pleasure in planning for all the people around them.

Do you have arrogant friends? Do you like their company? I would love to hear your views.

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Balroop Singh.

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The word ‘friendship’ has trailed me since childhood. I could never find a satisfactory definition of this word. More than friends, I have been fascinated by the charisma of this word – ‘friendship.’

I don’t have any memories of childhood friends and often wonder – did I have any friends? I remember I could never take an initiative to walk up to a person and say something.

I always waited, thinking…do they like me? Will they be friends with me?

Probably I was an introvert, though I didn’t know the meaning of this word at that time. Even now, I have a few friends whom I can count on my fingertips.

Probably my definition of friendship is different.

“Friends are our second selves.”– Aristotle

WHY DO WE NEED ‘OUR SECOND SELVES’?

In childhood – as we realize the need of companionship, we like to be with our friends to play, to feel happy, to connect, to share and we learn from them. We realize that there is actually another self, within us, which we need to discover.

In adolescence –

Friends play an important role in our growth
They become our emotional anchors
Help us feel confident
Improve our habits and behavior
Increase our awareness
Help in defining our goals
Develop competitive spirit
Challenge our strengths
Inspire us
Bring the best out of us.

There are many kinds of friends and we need all of them like the colors of a rainbow. Some provide fun and joy while others are like deep indigo, absorbing all our secrets, all the worries that we share and steer us into the brighter hues. They make us see how beautiful life is!

As adults – when we mature and move on with life, many friends are abandoned either due to circumstances or different direction that our life takes. At this stage of life we realize the worth of real friends, who adhere to us, despite all odds.

WHY ARE SOME FRIENDS SO SPECIAL?

I believe we all have such friends, who hold an exceptional place in our life. We think of them in our moments of joy, more so when we are in a dilemma, when we need an advice and we know that they would be there to help.

The emotions that bind us are so inexplicable that even we fail to fathom them. Such a bonding develops slowly, over the years and gets so cemented that people marvel at its strength.

There are some unique qualities, which such friends possess:

They love unconditionally:

Like mother’s love, they never hold back anything; they never raise any questions. Real friends don’t have any expectations – they just value friendship. Their affection comes from the heart; it flows naturally like a waterfall. They never doubt your intentions even when they are instigated against you.

They pick up the vibes:

They don’t need to be told that you are distressed or disturbed. They just look into your eyes and know that you need them. They can read your heart, understand your anguish and provide succor with their touch. Their soothing words can relieve all your worries. Such friends may be very rare to find but fortunately I have seen them.

They are consistent:

They don’t change with the seasons of life. They don’t have excuses when you call them. They are so steadfast and trustworthy that people may gape at their sincerity! They uphold the old values propounded by Socrates: “Be slow to fall into friendship, but when you are in, continue firm and constant.”

They have invincible faith in you:

They don’t need to check what others say about you because they know you and believe their gut feeling. They stand by you when you need them the most, when all others abandon you under some kind of pressure or fear. You can call them at midnight, without any qualms.

They criticize you:

Real friends possess the power to point out your weaknesses. They say what is true and not just nod their heads in affirmation when you need to be corrected. They don’t hesitate in saying what might hurt you because they know how significant their words are for you. They can mold you into a positive person.

They really listen and understand:

You can share the most frightful secrets of your life with them and still feel at ease. They don’t have any pretensions, would never betray your trust or let you down. They may not have a word of wisdom to erase those memories but they surely lighten your burden.

Now the question is – how do you know you have such a friend?

The answer lies in your heart. If you can be such a person, you surely have such a friend. How aptly has George Herbert answered: “The best mirror is an old friend.”

I dedicate this post to my old friends, who have always stood by me, provided me encouragement to go on unwavering, with head above all the storms and hurricanes of life.

Have you got such friends? How did you meet them? I would love to hear your views.

If you have liked this article, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

Balroop Singh.

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