I think of you again today and all those assurances come crowding.
You promised to take care of me, you said you will love me and I believed you…what could a 12 year old girl do?
They said you are all pervading, omniscient.
They said you don’t discriminate.
I was told about your sagacity, your altruism.
Was I too young to perceive it?
Where were you when I wept alone, uncared?
Were you there to caress my locks and say all will be fine?
Did you hold my hand, like a father would, when I stumbled?
Were you there to smile with me when I tried to catch the butterflies?
Were you there to gaze at the stars with me and hold my hand?
Did you share my little joys of soaking in the rain, floating paper boats with me?
Did you walk down the aisle with me, to feel the pride of a daughter?
You didn’t and you know that.
All that sham of divine blessings was not enough.
They could not sink in…didn’t even reach me.
Why do you snatch away our loved ones… what kind of test is this?
Those words reverberate…you are kind, all-powerful!?
Is this your power?
You know it all, only your kindness could have done that!
All those moments when I prayed so hard, so sincerely…they are still etched in my mind…
Those moments when you didn’t care, when you didn’t take pity on me, when you couldn’t see how little I was to bear that loss, how tiny my sister was, how helpless and heartbroken we all were.
You too seemed to be powerless! But I looked up to you!
Am I too naïve to comprehend the power of Almighty?
But I know that a dad is irreplaceable…even YOU, the all powerful, could not fill that void.
I miss you dad. I could never celebrate Fathers’ Day.
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Balroop Singh.
Emotional Shadows 