Tag: emotions
How Writing Can Help Us In Dealing With Emotions
Writing is one of the most amazing gifts that we receive with life. When a child learns to put the alphabets together, when he starts using those words into small, broken sentences, he hardly knows that he is learning the best of all the ingenuities available to human beings to share their emotions.
Those who get an opportunity to develop and enhance this skill at an early age feel blessed when they can use this as to tool to calm down their emotions.
Have you heard about writing therapy? My friend Kim of My Inner Chick has been using it since the untimely, unfortunate demise of her sister Kay, who was murdered by her own husband.
I too have experienced its therapeutic appeal!
Have you felt the cathartic and liberating effect of writing?
Whether it is expressive writing, writing for pleasure or creative writing – it is the best outlet for those emotions, which are difficult to express and lurk deeper within the inner recesses of our heart.
As a student I had read what Aldous Huxley said about writing: “Words can be like X-rays if you use them properly — they’ll go through anything.”
I have often deliberated about this bizarre analogy…X-rays always conjured up darkness before my eyes but I could understand the import of his words only now…when I can discern what role darkness plays in our lives…how it props us up to look for light, almost impels us towards it…how it raises our hopes!
Writing makes us happier:
The elation of recording our feelings is so fulfilling, so heartwarming that many people develop the habit of writing a journal. We can create our own world of fantasy, in which all the characters are mere puppets in our hands. We can unlock all the doors, as the keys are in our possession…what a wonderful feeling!
Writing inspires:
Inspiration comes in many shapes and forms and writing is surely one of them. It gives an impetus to our desires. When we write down about our aspirations and goals, our dreams begin to take shape. We start feeling that we are on the chosen track and through writing; we can plan as well as take stock of our achievements, quite frequently.
Writing organizes our thoughts:
It gives clarity to those ideas, which are confusing or blurred. It calms us down and leads us to self-discovery. With practice, words become our best friends, teach us tolerance, control our anger and rein our negative thoughts. They slash those emotional walls down, which ward off our progress towards becoming a better person.
Writing keeps us busy:
Like reading, writing keeps our mind occupied and takes us to the next level…of honing our skills, of embellishing our imagination, of drowning all the anxieties and loneliness in the ocean of words. The pleasure of this activity can only be felt when we start sharing our solitude with the words. It keeps our mind healthy and active.
Writing heals:
All those hurts, the agony, the emotional throttling gets assuaged when we pour it out, when we weave a wreath of words to be placed on those buried memories, when we share it in the form of a poem, a story or that precious book we write. Healing starts the moment we pen down our thoughts. We feel relieved. We learn to forgive. We rise above human imperfections.
“I can shake off everything as I write; my sorrows disappear, my courage is reborn.” –Anne Frank
Writing sets us free:
Writing has given me wings. I can fly anytime, anywhere. I often perch on the branches of my favorite trees and can communicate with everyone without any reticence. All those who sit far away, in the comfort of their homes can hear me as I let my voice merge into the clouds that float around, merrily.
Have you experienced the power of writing? How has it affected you?
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Balroop Singh.
Protected: How to recognize and get out of Emotionally abusive relationships?
6 Emotions That Can Guide Us Towards Success!
The corridors of success are illuminated by our emotions but their role is often underestimated.
Do you know which emotions stimulate us towards success?
You have often met them but never paid much attention.
Albert Einstein’s advice is so relevant even today – “Try not to become a man of success. Rather become a man of value.”
A man of value is guided more by emotions; he knows he will meet them on the way up the ladder of success. His journey may be slow and arduous but the outcome is always more fulfilling.
Real success is determined by these emotions:
#Happiness:
Happiness may lie within, as most people say but it begins with those moments of realization when we discover our passion, our goal and our path to that horizon, which we want to reach. The moment we recognize what is good for us, what gives us more happiness, that is the moment of great achievement. Look for that moment. The sooner you discover it, the better it would be for your success.
#Hope:
Hope is that bird, which keeps humming into our ears that the success we seek, is attainable. It keeps reminding us that with perseverance and determination, we can overcome all those hurdles, which may scuttle our success. It endows us with extra energy to meet all those challenges, which may seem insurmountable; it unravels that luminous path, which enlightens all the dark alleys of our mind.
#Desire:
Desire lies dormant in our hearts; slowly it keeps getting stronger and ignites the will to be like our role models. It impels us to have faith in our capabilities; it pushes us to follow our passion. It is the desire to come up to the expectations of our parents and teachers, the desire to do as well as our peers and siblings, which makes us strive to go up the ladder of success.
#Fear:
It is the fear of failure that keeps us motivated. Fear may be a negative emotion but the boost that it provides to our instincts is definitely positive. Tell yourself…what if I fail? That would NOT be the end of life. I can always start again. What if there is competition? We can only excel if there are some challenges before us. This life is so boring without them.
#Trust:
It is the trust in those wonderful people, our first emotional anchors, our parents, siblings and friends that cements our confidence in our pursuit of success. Their valuable support reassures us that we are on the right track. If we share our dreams, worries and plans with them, they feel pleasure in guiding us emotionally as well as financially. “I’m a success today because I had a friend who believed in me and I didn’t have the heart to let him down.”—Abraham Lincoln
#Patience:
No successful man could reach his goal in a day. It took him hours of uninterrupted work, days of planning ahead, months of slogging and years of persistent effort to become successful. Nobody can jump the bars of a ladder and reach the top. You have to climb up slowly and steadily, with patience and faith in your ability to persevere.
There is a very thin line between emotions and ethics. If we possess the capability to work sincerely, if we can maintain that much needed harmony between values and emotions, we can fulfill all our dreams of success.
If we are passionate about those dreams, if we get emotionally charged to get the results, if we possess that killer instinct, that confidence, which develops slowly; success has to bow before us!
Are you emotionally related to success? What does success mean to you? I would love to hear from you.
You can read more about success in my book. Just click on http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00LZGEG6W
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Balroop Singh.
Why Relationships Go Sour?
‘Relationship’ is a very wide term…it is not just a connection between two persons, which immediately comes to your mind when you hear this term.
The most precious relationship begins in the womb…a motherly binding that you experience the moment you feel the sensation of that small movement of your baby, the moment you hold that baby in your hands.
Relationships connect us not just by blood or marriage; they also refer to the emotional connection between people, family members, teachers and students, business partners and clients etc.
Relationships have to be nurtured slowly, their brittleness is felt only when we face the inevitable, when they are on the verge of falling apart. We can never put the clock back, however we wish to assuage the hurts… the scars keep reminding us of those unpleasant confrontations.
“There is no formula to relationships. They have to be negotiated in loving ways, with room for both parties, what they want and what they need, what they can do and what their life is like.”—Mitch Albom
There are very few people who want to snap off the loving ties yet they go sour. WHY?
One has to introspect to understand all the reasons:
Words: Take care of the words you use. They act like arrows, words spoken in anger or frustration cause deep wounds, which never heal. It may not be always easy to control your bitterness but prudent are those who think before they speak.
Arrogance: Many loving relationships break up due to arrogance of establishing supremacy, whether it is your spouse or sibling. If you think you have the capability to control, you are seriously mistaken. Self-respect and freedom is dear to all.
Pretense: When we pretend to be loving and affectionate but our actions and words are not in harmony with what we pose to be, such relationships never grow. Do you think people are so dumb that they can’t see through your sham?
Respect: If you expect others to respect you, don’t forget they too expect the same. Hurting their self-esteem can boomerang. Lack of respect for each other is a slow slayer of relationships!
Expectations: If you expect your spouse to follow all that you want, if you are always expecting him/her to compromise, if you are not smart enough to strike a balance between your own priorities and those of the other person, the heartbreaks which such delicate moments cause can never be bridged.
Suspicion: It devours all the goodness and faith within seconds. A suspicious mind can misinterpret even the most angelic thoughts and deeds, thereby leaving no room for explanations. Like termites, suspicion can eat into the relationships slowly and surely.
Jealousy: This is an innate human trait. We always want to be the best, to be looked after better than the other, to look our best, to be admired and respected and stricken by all these wishes, we get so jealous that we fail to understand that the other person – your close relative, too could be yearning for the same. Jealousy can harm many sensitive relationships.
Selfishness: A selfish person can never be considerate; compassion for him is a waste of time and energy. Can you expect goodness from others if you have been using them for your own profits? People soon figure out your personality and may cease to interact with you.
Forgiveness: when you are not ready to forgive, when you consider the other person to be inferior, when you fail to realize that the other person also has a dignity, your relationship meets a natural death.
We all possess human frailties, which are either inherent or picked up from the environment. Nobody is born perfect…we learn from each other. All we need is the will to improve our relationships.
Blaming our past or our parents, who could not give us the best of this world will not make us better human beings. Our own efforts would.
“Be the one who nurtures and builds. Be the one who has an understanding and a forgiving heart one who looks for the best in people. Leave people better than you found them.” –Marvin J. Ashton
How to save a sinking relationship:
- Communicate your feelings.
- Learn to be a good listener.
- Beware of toxic people around you.
- Develop the EQ to understand human emotions.
- Try self-analysis.
- Acknowledge your mistakes.
- Make amends.
Have you tried to understand the brittleness of relationships? Do you take the responsibility to introspect? I would love to hear your views.
If you have liked this article, please share it at your favorite social networks.
Thank you for your support. Please share your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.
Balroop Singh.
Emotional Shadows 