Category: Personality

How Negative Emotions Can Be Beneficial For Our Personality?

Published on by balroop singh30 Comments

img_4112

Negative emotions are more powerful and dominant. They invade uninvited; they affect our thoughts and behavior instantaneously and refuse to be tamed easily.

Since childhood we are trained to control these emotions but however hard we may try to bury them, they keep coming back, raising their ugly head again and again to remind us that we have to confront them.

We are encouraged to dismiss them, shun them as their implicit impact is considered to be negative – a streak that discolors our personality.

I don’t support this outlook.

My conviction is that negative emotions play a meaningful role in molding our personality:

  • They unlatch the doors of understanding and learning
  • They enhance our confidence
  • They give us a wide exposure
  • They impel us towards introspection
  • They help us in developing resilience
  • They assist us in building better relationships

“Negative emotions like loneliness, envy and guilt have an important role to play in a happy life; they’re big, flashing signs that something needs to change.” – Gretchen Rubin

Lets analyze them.

Anger:

It may be a natural emotion but it is detested by all. Angry outbursts often make us unpopular but it is only after we have experienced this emotion that we comprehend the need of calm behavior.

Anger has been my companion since childhood and whenever it got activated, I could feel the blood gushing through my veins as if they would burst, my blood pressure rising but in the whirlwind of anger, I could also experience its consequences, the unidentified thoughts rushing to issue a warning – enough!

When we watch an angry person, reacting in an uncivilized manner, don’t we get the alert? Don’t we promise ourselves to respect tranquility?

Anger may be a negative emotion but it leads us to positive paths of acceptance, of reflection and tolerance. When the anger subsides, we try to find some answers – what makes us angry? How can we check the flow of this negativity?

Anger slowly guides us towards serenity when we realize that the latter has incredible power to tame anger.

Hatred:

Nobody tells us to hate yet this innate emotion surfaces quite early when we are growing and forming our opinions about people.

It is through hatred that we learn the meaning of love. It is through this emotion that we learn about the prejudices against people and how important it is to overcome them.

The stark distinctions unravel before our own eyes when we meet different kinds of people.

“We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves.” – Mitch Albom

Whether hatred is directed towards a person or a group, an attitude or somebody’s behavior, deep rooted or temporary, this emotion disseminates a feeling of righteousness in the minds of people. It upholds the values of justice, honor and equality. One person’s hatred becomes another person’s lesson.

Fear:Negative emotions

The fear of loneliness keeps us connected with people, the fear of getting disliked teaches us at a very early age that we must be pleasant, kind and cooperative to our friends.

The fear of competition, the fear of failure, the fear of others’ success acquaints us with the most coveted values of life. These fears keep us motivated to stay focused, to struggle harder and learn from our disappointments.

The fear of losing our emotional anchors, the fear of the unknown, of being inadequate may frighten us but they also give us the courage to face the cruel realities of life.

The fear of uncertain future keeps us striving for something better. It adds greater value to our life.

It is the fear of dark that infuses in us the determination to find light, to hope for brighter days,

You must have experienced this dilemma of conquering fear, which makes us stronger and more resilient.

So why get scared of this negative emotion, which steers us towards positivity?

Sadness:

It is during the gloomy moments of life that we remember how blissful happiness is. Sadness shows us the cheerfulness in its right perspective.

We can value happiness only after we have encountered those depressing days we loathe.

Grief familiarizes us with those little joys we failed to appreciate when they lingered around us, unnoticed.

The blessings of life assume a special connotation after we emerge victorious from our suffering. It helps us develop patience, forbearance and calmness. It gives us the gift of introspection.

“Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.” – Hellen Keller

Anxiety, nervousness, jealousy, arrogance have one thing in common. They are natural teachers. If you follow them, befriend them; they may play with your emotions for a while but the prudence that accompanies them often seeps into your personality unawares.

Negative emotions are very subtle and deceptive. They absorb more energy but they often walk away victorious, testing our patience and strength, ennobling us, belittling our ego, thereby transforming us into humble human beings.

Do you dismiss negative emotions without dealing with them?

Do they knock you down or do you learn something positive from them?

I am eagerly waiting for your answers.

If you have liked this article, please share it at your favorite social networks. 

Thank you for your support. Please share your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

Balroop Singh.

 

 

How To Enrich Your Personality With 3 Simple Values: #Consistency #dedication #sincerity

Published on by balroop singh35 Comments

Personality

When I think of impressive personalities, consistency seems to be the most important requirement. We may feel more detached and free in today’s world, dedication and sincerity may appear to be a bit outdated but they are still revered and valued.

Consistency of principles and conduct give a distinctive shape to our personality. When we don’t change our behavior in the midst of crisis, under pressure or due to threats, when the influence of circumstances doesn’t crush us or change us, we can call ourselves consistent.

Consistency in relationships is the key to happiness and serenity. All relationships need an assurance, an assertion and an affirmation that they can be banked upon. Consistency lends that much needed emotional mortar to firm our relationships.

Consistent parents raise happy and healthy children and make a positive mark on their ever-evolving personality.

Dedication and sincerity are the offshoots of consistency, which align our actions with our concepts.

“Consistency makes the rain drops to create holes in the rock. Whatever is difficult can be done easily with regular attendance, attention and action.” -― Israelmore Ayivor

Just consider what consistency can do:

  • Consistency of thoughts evolves us into a better person. Even if our thoughts happen to be negative at times, they are shoved away by being positive and consistent.
  • Consistency of beliefs leads us through the darkest tunnels of our mind. Trust speaks to us during those disappointing moments to focus on positive aspects of life.
  • Consistency of values makes us a luminous personality. It makes us as tall and as bright as the lighthouse. People notice that consistency and get inspired.
  • Consistency of upright behavior endears us to all our acquaintances and friends who know that they can pin their hope on us.
  • Consistency of affirmative outlook sends a positive message to all those around us.
  • Consistency of diet, exercise and meditation keeps us healthy and fit.

Despite all the good that consistency brings to our relationships, and us… nobody cares about it! Why?

It is probably very demanding.

Demands of consistency:

  • Our actions should be in harmony with our values.
  • We must uphold our principles in all situations.
  • We treat all people with the same respect that we expect from them.
  • We need to maintain our integrity even during difficult times.
  • We have to come up to the expectations of others.

Our actions reveal our values and principles. If we don’t follow them consistently, we give out a clear message that we are faking our relationships. It is our behavior that exhibits what lies within us.‘ Without consistency there is no moral strength’- Owen

Dedication and sincerity:

I know these two terms are quite discomforting. One day, when I was emphasizing on their importance, one of my students kept staring at me in a strange manner, very clearly conveying through his looks that I was going overboard and should come back to the topic, which had triggered the so called ‘sermon.’

I could never forget those looks!

Those looks followed me, haunted me yet they couldn’t deter me from talking about these values whenever I got the opportunity.

Consistency, dedication and sincerity can enrich your personality.

How they help:

My conviction is that it is our zeal, our passion for work, which makes us noticeable. Whether you are a homemaker, trying to make your home more comfortable and loving, an entrepreneur or an ordinary worker, dedication and sincerity gleam through your work.

My friend, we can call her ‘Sage’ was so committed to her work that she was the admiration and envy of her colleagues, some of them waiting in the grass to pull her down the ladder of success. That did not deter her from her path.

She didn’t change her personality to please others.

She didn’t worry about being disliked.

She became a source of inspiration for many young men and women who were aspiring to make a mark through their work.

She has got many accolades for completing all the projects within the stipulated time despite the challenges she had to face in the form of limited resources and lack of support.

All those who interact with her immensely esteem her sincerity.

“When pure sincerity forms within, it is outwardly realized in other people’s hearts.” – Lao Tzu

Sincerity is like ‘truth’, which gives more of pain and poise but has long-term effects.

Have you ever felt admiration and pride for some persons? In what way are they special?

Have you aspired to emulate those affable personalities?

Were you attracted by their pleasing traits? Which one impresses you the most? I would love to hear your views.

If you have liked this article, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Have you subscribed to my posts? It is absolutely free. You can do so just now by clicking on ‘follow’.

Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable comments, they are much appreciated.

Balroop Singh.

Seven Secrets Of Arrogance

Published on by balroop singh27 Comments

When-You-Think-That-Everyone-Around-You-Is-Wrong-And-Only-You-Have-The

Arrogance is the big brother of ego; she likes him, pampers him and lets him have his own way. The overbearing pride that he carries around him keeps him in his own world of illusion.

A random statement of my friend who felt – almost everybody is arrogant shook me and I tried to analyze. Starting with my own personality, I realized how much arrogance I had shed, to change myself.

We all possess a certain amount of ego and to put it more mildly, we call it self- esteem. We can’t tolerate even a little bit of shove till we learn to live with the realization that feeling superior is a human trait, a way of the world.

“Young people are arrogant because they always associate with their own peers, those who are all really nothing but who would like to be very important.”—Friedrich Nietzsche.

Are you Arrogant? – a checklist:arrogance-300x300

  • You judge people, without actually knowing them.
  • You think you are more talented, more successful.
  • You think you are always right.
  • You like to be your own boss.
  • You like to discuss your own achievements.
  • You are a bad and impatient listener.
  • You find pleasure in domineering.
  • You like to assert your view on others.
  • You look down upon humble and gentle people.

If the answer to even half of the above statements is true, you can be considered arrogant. Don’t worry, you can change yourself, if you wish to.

It is only when we associate with all kinds of people, when we face the harsh realities of life, when we come to know how big the attitudes can be… that we try to tame down our own ego.

We don’t want to be the same kind of persons, we detest!

Ego also gets humbled by the experiences of life, by the unforeseen turbulences, by the behavior of your own dear friends and siblings.

However, some people never try self-analysis, they don’t accept that they are arrogant. They secretly nurse their imperfections and put up a brave front.

1. Arrogant people put up a charade of being strong:

I got an opportunity of peeping into the hearts of such people who think they possess the best brains and can wield their power and authority to intimidate others. Actually they are very weak at heart, they get easily hurt, they hardly have the forbearance to hear even a difference of opinion.

2. They like to control through bullying:

They think bullying can easily scare others and rightly so. Some weak and even mentally strong persons accept subservience due to circumstances or their own compulsions, which reassures the arrogant bullies that they are the bosses and they can accomplish everything through superciliousness.

3. They are emotionally imbalanced:

Arrogance of thoughts and feelings greatly hampers the development of emotional quotient. They don’t believe in emotional attachments, as they don’t want to lose control over others…even their own emotional anchors. They refrain from showing their emotions and therefore their love never comes to the surface.

4. They are very lonely:

Such people pretend to have a lot of friends and even like to surround themselves, all the time with them but they know in their heart of hearts the loneliness, which they face, which they never share with anybody. It is this loneliness, which converts them into bullies. More than hatred, they need our compassion.

5. Aggression and anger are their weapons:

They get easily provoked and can get very aggressive. Anger is their favorite weapon, which they can use very effectively to frighten their victims. They don’t like to give any opportunity to anybody around them to clarify their position. They pounce upon them and can even get physical.

6. Self-love rules them:

They are very self-centered; their obsession of becoming the best and acquiring everything they want, rules their hearts. They never grow out of adolescent self-love. They are very insecure about their closest relationships and don’t like to give them even the basic freedom of expression. They are so much immersed in self-love that the desires and cravings of the other person seem insignificant to them.

7. They feign happiness:

Do you think such people can be happy? They appear to be, as they socialize a lot and like to make a lot of friends but soon all of them see through their behavior and their real self stands exposed. Real happiness eludes them as they leave many emotional scars behind and move ahead, without addressing them.

Arrogance

“The arrogance of men never ceases to amaze me. You all think everything has to do with you, and every woman has to desire you.”—Robert Jordan

Do you know arrogant people? Do you like them? How do you deal with them? I would love to hear your views.

If you have liked this article, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Have you subscribed to my posts? It is absolutely free. You can do so just now by clicking on ‘follow’.

Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable comments, they are much appreciated.

Balroop Singh.

Image credits: img.quotery.com-, quoteswave.com

 

Cultivating Patience… Is It Your Priority?

Published on by balroop singh23 Comments

Patience is the inclination to control the racing mind, which wants to jump ahead. We have to win many thrilling races of life but this one, which calls for a brake is no less challenging.

Do you have the quality of bearing provocation, the ability to suppress annoyance, the capacity for calmly enduring pain?

Developing patience is an enormous learning experience, it acquaints us with what is life, how we have to wait at each step, each phase, without getting agitated, disappointed or distressed.

While moving ahead on the path to accomplish our dreams, we have to keep patience and wait for the right opportunities, for the leading benchmarks to reach that horizon we have visualized.

While we try to analyze and understand whether our endeavors conform to our aspirations, we have to keep patience and wait for the results.

“He that can have patience can have what he will.”—Benjamin Franklin.

Patience can be cultivated with practice, with restraint and by balancing our emotions. Despite all the efforts, it is learnt slowly, with time and experience.

Have you noticed how suddenly do we get upset when we encounter some delay in one form or another… whether it is waiting to catch a train or a flight or we get stuck in traffic? Annoyance is a natural emotion at such a time but those are the situations, which apprise us with the value of patience, which train us to think rationally and sensibly.

ABSORB PATIENCE FROM MOTHER NATURE

If you want to learn patience, look at Mother Nature – the slow and steady growth of the fruit tree you plant…the way you have to nurture it, admire it with every passing day and wait for spring…to see it sprout with new shoots, waiting eagerly for the blossoming of flowers, the formation of fruit and wait again for the warmth of sun to fill that fruit with sweetness so that it becomes palatable.

LEARN IT FROM CHILDREN

If you want to learn patience, have children around you.They can give you some profound lessons just by running around and refusing to eat what you offer. Ever tried to feed a toddler? You need to wait and wait till they decide to open their mouth to oblige you!…ask a new mother! That is how young women become patient when they have to deal with their loving sons and daughters. When they grow up, the bigger test of your patience starts at that time. While you think about new strategies everyday to deal with them, you too learn. That’s why William Wordsworth must have said… “Child is the father of man.”

REAL PATIENCE IS – SELF CONTROLpatience_quote-1

I too learnt real patience from my children and MORE of it from my students. Initially I was quite impatient with them but soon I realized that it is just like pulling my own hair, losing my own serenity and concentration. Slowly I started listening to them, getting less angry, learning to control my emotions and becoming patient.

One student who had outgrown all kinds of adjectives from ‘impolite’ to ‘unruly’ [being used by his teachers] was brought into my room for a more effective reprimand. I just gave him enough time to explain himself, spoke politely and respectfully to him and waited. This so called notorious and uncontrollable student had tears in his eyes and apologized but he also emphasized that none of his teachers tried to understand him, not even his parents.

Such is the power of patience! It got ingrained in me through the honest confessions of this boy.

“Have patience with all things but first of all with yourself”– Saint Francis De Sales.

ACQUIRE PATIENCE FROM YOUR PROFESSION

When you have to wait outside the room of your boss, when you have to wait for your colleagues to catch up with your speed of work, when projects get delayed, when you have to wait for your next promotion…there are many such opportunities that instill patience in the most natural manner.

I had to wait everyday outside my classroom…an expected courteous step so that the teacher who had been teaching before me could step out but some of them kept on and on, oblivious of the fact that the bell had rung for the change of class and somebody must be waiting outside, in the sticky July heat or the students need a bit of time to breathe before settling down for the next class.

Some times when the door had been closed by a very conscientious teacher, it was real fun to watch [from that little rectangular hole in the door, made for peeping to keep a check at both the students and the teachers] those students who were apparently distracted or bored due to a long day of packing of all those facts and formulae into their brains and longed for some refreshing change, which English class brought through discussion of real and human issues!

proud-elder-300x279IMBIBE IT FROM THE ELDERLY

Learn patience from the elderly and ailing members of the house, whose insecurities and expectations keep growing. If you love them, their demands can’t irritate you. One of my friends, who was living in a joint family with a mother-in-law and a grandmother-in-law, who had Alzheimer’s had to keep herself calm…her capacity of forbearance was so unprecedented that it amazes me how much she had changed.

“A man who is a master of patience is master of everything else.”—George Savile.

Have you mastered patience? Do you think you need to work on it? I would love to hear your views.

If you have liked this article, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Have you subscribed to my posts? It is absolutely free. You can do so just now by clicking on ‘follow’.

Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable comments, they are much appreciated.

Balroop Singh.

Picture credits:favething.com, insideeldercare.com