The Amazing Power Of Kindness

power-of-kindnessKindness starts with you!

The power of kindness can only be felt within your heart from where it emanates.

Kindness may be innate but it doesn’t come to the surface if it is not nurtured with little acts of concern, if it is not fostered during receptive years of growth, if siblings don’t show kindness to each other and most importantly if parents lack it.

Self-centered parents who strive to show their superiority; who are in constant strife for one reason or the other leave an indelible mark on the psyche of their children with their demeanor. Kindness remains routed!

“Kindness is a behavior marked by ethical characteristics, a pleasant disposition, and concern for others.” This definition that I have picked from Wikipedia doesn’t seem to satisfy my understanding of the term as I have seen many ‘pleasant dispositions’ faking kindness.

One kind act can calm many emotions. One kind person in a family can cement many relationships.

There is one person in my life, whom I didn’t choose, who just happened to become the most important person for me not because I liked him but I happened to be connected with him by custom and law. Initially I was quite confused about him.

I had never really known love; so I cant say I loved him. But I could understand what is love through his interactions with me.

He never mentioned the word ‘love’ but I could see it; sense it and discern it through his little gestures of care. His ability to read my mind and doing exactly what I wanted before I could communicate my desires amazed me. Slowly I evolved into a different person.

He molded me with his boundless benevolence, without actually saying a word about my imperfections, arrogance and rudeness.

He never ever criticized me for anything even when he should have. With his kindness, he taught me those lessons of life, which nobody could ever force down my throat.

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His kind words of giving a benefit of doubt to everybody around him amazed me. His equanimity, and complacency in the most difficult situations, his serene silence even when I argued my guts out enlightened me about the need to become a better person.

Like all human beings he is not perfect yet he evokes admiration. He is candid enough to say ‘I cant read your poetry’!

When I published Sublime Shadows Of Life and he heard praise from some of my friends, he secretly read a few of my poems and said… “You can write well!” I cherish his words as he is a person of few words and uses them judiciously. When he says something, everybody listens.

He is always by my side in whatever decision I take…wrong or right.

If this were not kindness then I would love to hear more about it.

When Mark Twain said, “Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see,” he must be talking about the language of such little gestures of kindness, which can only be perceived with an intuitive eye.

It is only when we treat others with respect and parity that they learn to understand the value of these words. They become what they could have aspired. Kindness is like that candle, which gives its light to others and burns brighter.

My book ‘Allow Yourself To Be A Better Person’ can be downloaded FREE from 22 January – 23 January, 2017. Happy reading! I look forward to your kindness.

Grab your copy at amazon.com

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Thank you for reading this. Please add your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

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Balroop Singh.

 

How Good Teachers Can Get Inspired To Mold Personalities

Personality development

I didn’t realize the effects of a teacher on personalities till I stepped into this profession. Probably I didn’t have any such teacher around me whom I admired ardently or who could touch my heart but I do remember a few who emitted an unseen light, which could brighten the path of an average student.

When I stumbled upon the profession of a teacher, which I didn’t plan to follow, I was very keen to teach high school students. I thought it was easier!

I was told I needed a professional training.

Despite a teacher’s training degree in my hand, I hardly knew what makes a good teacher. I learnt it from my students, from my daily interaction with them and listening to their opinion and complaints.

Slowly it dawned upon me how much a teacher can give. I was amazed at the expectations of my students and I had to work very hard to come up to their beliefs.

I noted that a teacher is trusted more than a parent probably because a teacher really listens, is non-judgmental and supports the pupils who choose to confide in him/her.

Now I started grasping the real meaning of “Nation Builders.”

Now I knew that Good teachers are not born.

“I am indebted to my father for living, but to my teacher for living well.” – Alexander the Great.

I was humbled by this profession, which I didn’t want to join because people looked down upon it, it was so lowly paid and only those “who couldn’t find a better job became a teacher,” was the perception!

I found it immensely satisfying. The dividends it paid could not be counted, could not be seen because they could only be felt.

They stand before me now in the form of most successful human beings who value the contribution of teachers. Their one word of gratitude is the biggest bank balance for me.

My pupils showed me what is patience and benevolence; they revealed the value of hard work; they taught me how emotions are knitted into the fabric of values to make them more effective.

Once I had been molded by my students, it was my turn and this is what I learnt:

Children are like clay in our hands. Like a sculptor we can chisel and carve their personalities with our behavior.

“A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops.” ― Henry Adams.

Teachers appreciation

Teachers inspire the desire for learning:

True learning is the one, which is self-accentuated. A good teacher understands this basic principle and lays bare all the possibilities before the students. Curriculum may be binding, it may limit the potential but a real teacher focuses on igniting the minds to go beyond those limitations. Carl Jung has rightly observed, “The curriculum is so much necessary raw material, but warmth is the vital element for the growing plant and for the soul of the child.“

Make them discerning individuals:

Students look up to their teachers for guidance and path-breaking initiatives. When they meet an inspired teacher, they start believing in their own dreams. It is only with the much-needed encouragement that their aspirations get a boost. Classroom discussions play an important role in giving confidence to new thoughts and developing their own perceptions.

Make them absorb the values of discipline:

A disciplined teacher can convey the need and significance of discipline to become self-disciplined. Children may take pleasure in breaking the rules, they may scoff at the reprimand and punitive actions but what they see in their teacher eventually gets absorbed. An upright teacher doesn’t have to organize discussions on this topic.

Inspire positive thoughts:

Little disappointments seem gigantic to children, especially teenagers. Teachers can convert those moments of disenchantment into stepping-stones by talking them out of negativity. A good teacher can also become a counselor, as she/he understands students better than parents. Teenagers feel more comfortable in sharing their problems with their teachers or friends.

Values are learned effortlessly:

Good and conscientious teachers can touch the students with their kindness and patience. Little children learn more through observation and image. When their role model exemplifies the ethics enshrined in the rulebook, it is easier for them to imbibe them naturally. I have often heard my outspoken students complain about double standards, which confused them.

“Everyone who remembers his own education remembers teachers, not methods and techniques. The teacher is the heart of the educational system.” – Sidney Hook

They make an eternal impact on students:

I was surprised at the influence of my own child’s teacher on her when she refused to share the little secret of her school function with me saying, “it is a surprise for the parents and will be revealed only on the day the function will be presented!”

My own heart swells with delight when I meet my old students and can see a spark of brightness in their eyes while they talk about those ‘golden’ days.

Whether it is sharpening their speaking talent, acquainting them with their potential, or honing their social skills, a teacher can truly mold the personalities of students.

Did you meet any such teacher who made a difference in your life? I would love to hear about her/him.

Thank you for reading this. Please add your valuable reflections, they are much appreciated.

If you have liked this article, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Balroop Singh.

I Learnt To Be Positive On The Way…

Positive thinking

I have always dared, dared to speak out my mind, dared to take my own decisions, dared to quit whenever I wanted to.

It was not easy and it wasn’t permitted. Yes! Permissions have to be taken… sadly at each and every aspect of life!

People like to hold you back because they want to control you; they could be insecure or jealous. They restrict your decisions to remain all-important in your life. You like to listen to them thinking they could be right, they could be your well-wishers but the reality could be quite different and you may never even know what made them hold you back from pursuing your own dreams, taking your own decisions and acquiring confidence.

Self belief:

There was a time when I didn’t trust myself but a strong self-belief kept me going till I discovered all the distrust factors were external, that they were not my own fears, they were created. When the realization dawned, I was amazed at my strength and conviction.

Intuition:

There is no doubt that it built over the years but all those controlling factors endowed me with an intuition beyond imagination. They contributed to my fortitude and determination to forge ahead.

Decisiveness:

I dared to resign my first job out of my own desire to set up my home and look after my child. I did that for my own happiness but it took me far beyond…I could spend blissful moments with my child, nurturing her impressionable years, adding joy to her infancy with my presence and those memorable moments stand before me now and smile at my scoffers who condemned my irresponsible decision of quitting a very secure job.

Candor:

I could never wear a mask to please others; I could never pay a compliment if the words didn’t emerge from my heart; I could never be pressurized to follow the crowd.

I would reiterate that it is not easy. You get disliked and judged, people assume you are arrogant and may even shun you. My mettle steered me through those challenges and I could find some gems in the form of loving friends who understand me and admire me for what I am.Dare to be different

Resilience:

I was never ashamed of my critics. I learnt from them not to judge without really understanding people.

I didn’t flinch when people picked on me; tried to bully me into believing what they think was right. I learnt to be kind and empathetic.

I refused to show my tears to the world for treating me harshly. I learnt to be resilient and shared my agonies with the trusted few.

I poured my heart into poetry and got acquainted with another aspect of my own self, lying latent within me.

I emerged stronger than my own self and was amazed at the power we have within us to deal with the tribulations of life.

All because I dared and I am proud of that.

Balroop Singh.

 

 

 

9 Ways To Knock Off Arrogance

 

ArroganceI have already written about arrogance and how it can be harmful for us. If you haven’t read those posts and want to start from the beginning, you can click on the following links:

How Arrogance Can Harm Your Personality

Seven Secrets Of Arrogance

Why Arrogant People Don’t Have Friends

Arrogance becomes detrimental when we accept it as an essential part of our personality. Can arrogance be divested? It may be quite challenging but not impossible.

ARROGANCE…the word that conjures up negative images, the word whose connotation is often misconstrued, the word, which scares us without even touching us!

My experiences with arrogance have taught me some profound lessons. The day I tried to break it into small pieces and deal with it syllable by syllable, this is what I discovered:

We can turn it around into a positive word:

ArroganceThat is how you can revert arrogance, which is very much in your own hands.

Nobody except the arrogant can change himself or herself.

Only our inner voice can impel us towards change. When an arrogant person decides to develop humility, he or she has to overcome self-perpetuated attitude of being supreme.

It is the ego, which accentuates arrogance. When we recognize the power of self-effacement, we can accomplish a positive change in our personalities. Often we don’t make any such effort. We get so accustomed to riding the high sea that it carries us far into the realms of selfishness.

The solution lies in dropping the sails and anchoring our conceit.

Acceptance and respect are the two key words for exorcising the demonic powers of arrogance. When we start respecting others as equal human beings with same kinds of desires and emotions, when we start understanding that they too have a tender heart and get hurt by our outbursts, we begin to comprehend the subtle influence of being compassionate.

Compassion comes very slowly and only if we decide to expunge egotistical traits, which dominate arrogance.

The roots of arrogance lie elsewhere, probably in childhood or upbringing and therefore it is very essential to visit those corridors and make peace with those experiences, which are no longer relevant.

If you didn’t receive love and care in your childhood, you can’t bridge that gap now, if you crave for certain moments to return to soothe your soul, they can’t. If you were bullied and you are hiding behind arrogance to cover it up, you have to break that shell and come out.

We can embellish our personality at any stage of our life.

Read more about personality enhancement in my book.

If you have liked this article, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Thank you for reading this. Please add your valuable comments, they are much appreciated.

Balroop Singh.