Emotions – Page 10 – Emotional Shadows

When Our Emotions Get Hurt…

Published on October 19, 2015 by balroop singh31 Comments

I am sure you can relate to this. We all have bruised egos, bleeding hearts and moments of discontent. Emotional upheavals are a part of our lives.

We have a lot of expectations from our near and dear ones, especially our parents, children, siblings and friends.

We love them and expect the same kind of love in return. We do the best for them and think that they would understand us. Many times they misinterpret our love as interference.

Our definition of love could be different from theirs. Their lack of interaction with us may disappoint us, we may wonder where did we err, which has made them selfish and self-centered and we may even feel guilty for having failed to have that kind of warmth we anticipate.

Too much love boomerangs. It loses its sheen. Our emotions get hurt.

At such moments, try to put yourself in their shoes. Just think that their perspective could be unlike ours.

I know it takes a lot of time to rise from the dumps of emotional distress…

The babies we nurtured are grown up adults now, emotionally and financially independent. They like to take their own decisions.

The parents who doted on them seem to be superfluous. You could be one such parent.

The siblings who shared all their secrets with us have their own soul mates and children, who are dearer to them than us.

We may feel isolated.

The friends we had have moved on with their life.

When situations change, attitudes also change. Emotional balance appears to be the most significant aspect of such a scenario.

How to handle emotional hurts?

Learn from hurts: We have to accept change, which is an inevitable law of life. All relationships evolve with the passage of time. Prepare yourself for change in the outlook of people around you. Please understand that their own life and pursuits are more important for them. They don’t mean to hurt you; they just have a different perception, which you may not appreciate.

Learn to trust them: Your contribution to the growth and development of persons in your life could have been gigantic but now is the time to sit back and take pride in their success and happiness. You can trust them to take responsible decisions. If they seem to go astray, you can only help them by reminding them but they will learn only when they stumble.

Give up control: It may seem very difficult to give up the role of mentoring your children yet you cannot control them all your life. The sooner you realize this, the better it is for your mental health. Don’t give them any advice if it is not asked.

Let them be what they choose: The best gift you can give to your children and siblings is – let them be what they want. It may be against your own ideals and expectations but you cant snatch their happiness by imposing your view on them.

Support them: Despite the differences and bitterness, which creep into relationships slowly, don’t alienate yourself. Keep in touch and support their decisions. Give your opinion only when asked to. Remember you are no longer the most important person in their lives.

Respect yourself: If you feel alienated at some stage of life, step back and introspect. Let all the thoughts gather and sift the ones, which can help in getting over the hurt. Brooding or letting the past linger around you can only accentuate the ache. Let go the past, give it some time to wilt and wither. You will emerge stronger.

Cultivate emotional balance: Don’t get carried away by the attitudes, which could hurt your emotions, don’t try to be judgmental even if the indifference of a dear friend or a sibling is irksome. Learn to give them a benefit of doubt as your thoughts could be far fetched.

Find new activities: Keep yourself busy, join a club, a recreation center or revive one of those hobbies you couldn’t pursue. Spread your arms and feel free. If you are an introvert, take refuge in your old journal and share your feelings with it.

Nobody listens to our emotions as ardently as our journal.

“The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt.” – Max Lerner

How do you deal with emotional hurts? I am waiting for your answers.

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Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable comments, they are much appreciated.

Balroop Singh.

The Emotional Aspect Of Grief, Which Later Became My Friend!

Published on August 25, 2015 by balroop singh41 Comments

Grief…I have written a lot of poetry about this word, which ceased to be a word for me long back and became an ever-encompassing emotion, just like the threatening dark clouds, which refuse to break away without torrential rain.

I know this emotion is not individualistic. I know it is all pervading and agonizing but when it starts defining life for us at a very young age, it becomes a part of our personality.

That is how it assaulted me, devoid of any compassion with killer instinct to annihilate my existence.

I had to deal with it single-handed, finding excuses to hide away from it, putting up a brave front, denying its existence and even shoving it into the obscure corners of my mind.

We can do so when we are very young, burying our memories with the hope that they will remain repressed. Dwelling in the world of denial we move on, pursuing our dreams and basking in their glory.

Forgetting that no glory lasts forever. Oblivious of the reality that grief is an incessant stream that flows into our life time and again and brings all those boulders back, which we had discarded in the hope of never meeting again.

It is like an ember that keeps glowing in one corner of our heart, which keeps reminding that it is real, it is persistent, it cannot die.

How can you expect a child to grieve? A child who doesn’t even know this word, who is suddenly thrown into the sea and expected to swim!

How can you tell a child to shed tears and empathize with those who want to glorify grief?

‘How dare you smile or laugh’…people remind us and compel us to keep the grief alive in our heart.

I can recollect a feeling of emptiness, of loneliness, of guilt encompassing me, shrieking…keep that emotion alive. A reprimand arising out of my heart…dare you not abandon it!

Such is the way of the world or that is what I experienced. Moments of joy were snatched away not just by the dead, who left me behind but even those who were alive because they chose to live in sorrow.

Grief is one emotion that can never be suppressed… I learnt this lesson in the prime of my adolescence; it is better to accept it, embrace it and conduct a meaningful dialogue with it.

Give it some time to let it percolate, assess your strength, build it further and emerge emotionally resilient. Only grief can do it. It is only in misery that we learn to become understanding. Our vibes of sensitivity become more functional. We become resistant to judgments.

We learn to live with it.

“Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” – Vicki Harrison

After all the tears and heartbreaking moments of anguish, grief starts diluting itself and steps out. We just have to open the doors and windows to let it ease. Now it re-enters in a new form if we are ready to accept him like a friend.

When I befriended grief it started patting on my back, it sat with me to reassure that it would welcome joy. I was astounded that it too loved to break free. Now both of us enjoy freedom, soar with each other, laughter accompanies us and we have vanquished negative thoughts.

We pour our concerns and tears into poetry, which is all-absorbing and provides us with somber solace.

Grief is our best friend:

It acquaints us with our inner self.

It makes us ponder to understand its nuances.

It makes us wiser and more tolerant.

It reinforces our faith and strength.

It ennobles us.

It introduces us to joy, which lies in little, fleeting moments.

Have you found a friend in grief by accepting it? Do you like this new relationship? I would love to hear your views.

The above extract, adapted from my next book, which is in initial stages, may seem gloomy and out of place but grief is one word that surely touches our lives with its cold hand, at some stage of life.

If you have liked this article, please share it at your favorite social networks.

Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable comments, they are much appreciated.

Balroop Singh.

My New Book Explores The Connection Between Emotions And Relationships

Published on August 14, 2015April 27, 2018 by balroop singh39 Comments

Are you emotionally healthy? Do you take pride in your relationships? Do you nurture your relationships with care? Have you passed the test of stormy weather that keeps knocking at our doors to warn us that relationships are brittle?

Many such questions keep cropping up in our minds.

Some of the answers bring an audacious awakening.

We wish we had known these questions well before facing a break up.

We wish we had the time and maturity to deal with our relationships.

It is human tendency to take all relationships for granted. Probably we pick that up from our basic relationship with our mother whose unaltered and unconditional love never fades.

We forget that relationships need care and attention; they require a constant sprinkling of sentiments to sparkle.

We forget that relationships are connected with emotions and the latter are extremely molten…flowing at will, just like an animate volcano or a stormy sea.

The sea of emotions keeps becoming wider and deeper if we don’t dive in to take stock of what requires attention.

The webby waves entangle us unless we learn to deal with them.

I have been floundering and learning every moment, often on the verge of emotional inhibitions. I have always emerged stronger. I have been sharing my thoughts and emotions with you for almost two years now.

It is time to launch a book on emotions.

Welcome to the launch of my third book.

This book will guide you how you can keep pace with embellishing your thoughts and channelize your emotions, which can be trained to veer into a positive direction.

This book will infuse a new thrill and vitality into all your relationships. Happiness will seem a real possibility.

Healthy relationships depend on emotional quotient and emotional balance, which can be nurtured.

Can we stop the flow and speed of emotions? Can we learn from their radiance, their cheerful bounce, their twists and twirls? This book unravels their depth and resilience in handling the stormy weather, which is knitted into the fabric of all our relationships.

We look around and feel – ‘Nothing is perfect’… dreams get shattered, hopes are belied; aspirations delude and the opportunities elude us. The clouds have the power to conceal the sunshine and our radiance fails to ignite positive thoughts.

This book will answer all those questions; give a new hope to your dreams and usher in a new dawn.

“I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.” – Oscar Wilde

I am sure nobody would like to be at the mercy of anger, impatience and impetuousness, which play havoc with our relationships.

I am sure you would bless me after reading this book as it focuses on appreciation, calmness, emotional resilience and people.

If you have liked to be a part of this launch, please share it at your favorite social networks. I would like my book to reach all your friends.

Please click on the link:

You can download a FREE copy of this book for the next three days – from 14 August 2015 to 16 August 2015, midnight.

Thank you for your support. Please add your valuable comments, they are much appreciated.

Balroop Singh.

Protected: Only Heart Brings Happiness…Why I Have Always Followed My Heart

Published on July 14, 2015June 16, 2017 by balroop singh

How Emotional Vibes Of Colors Affect Our Personality

Published on June 22, 2015June 22, 2015 by balroop singh32 Comments

Colors have always fascinated me as they are directly linked to emotions. Bright and happy colors spread vibes of ecstasy all around. They accentuate our celebrations and merge into our moods.

Colors respond to emotions and moods intuitively. They lend a new perspective to our lives.

It has been our tradition to wear bright colors for happy occasions to add that extra merry tinge to them. Muted colors are chosen for somber occasions.

My fascination for colors started very early, as I liked to paint more because I could play with various colors, mix them and create my own wonderful shades.

Growing up with the colors of my little garden made me understand and respect their significance. Watching flowers and butterflies was my favorite past time. Much of my love for nature is connected with the colors.

When Leigh Hunt said, ‘Colors are the smiles of nature’, he must have felt the emotional vibes of colors.

I learned to smile from colourful flowers, the rainbow and the sunset.

Colors of nature are more alluring as their hues change in the most natural manner.

Have you noticed the colors of the sky and the clouds…the dawn, the dusk and the dark clouds?

Gray may be a drab color but it keeps us riveted till thunder and lightening shake us out of our reflections. Its association with rain makes it all the more meaningful.

Gray also defines our romantic temperament!

Green, the most soothing and harmonious color binds us with Mother Nature. It emits positive vibes of growth, giving, prosperity and all embracing emotion. The exquisite attachments it creates are eternal!

I wonder how it fell into the hands of jealousy. Shakespeare’s ‘green-eyed monster’ doesn’t relate to the upbeat vibes of green color.

Blue color carries the vastness of the sky and the depth of the oceans, it breathes serenity and contentment and its shades merge all the emotions of fear, hope and trust.

Blue evokes divine blessings and infuses us with unflinching confidence when we say… ‘Sky is the limit’!

“Red is such an interesting color to correlate with emotion because it’s on both ends of the spectrum. On one end you have happiness, falling in love, infatuation with some one, passion, all that. On the other end, you’ve got obsession, jealousy, danger, fear, anger and frustration.” – Taylor Swift

Red has been my favorite color… how it got associated with danger, fear and anger is difficult to understand as red roses symbolize love and passion.

It is the most vibrant color that helps us thrive, the color of our blood, symbolic of life and energy.

A bride in Asian countries wears Red, which is the color of celebrating new sensitivities and relationships.

Red carpet welcome denotes honor, respect and grand reception but at the same time a red card or a red flag changes the whole vibrational frequency of this color!

The meaning and significance of many colors change according to places, cultures and circumstances.

The paradoxical uses of white are amazingly enigmatic.

White may be a color of purity, faith and innocence but it is worn at the weddings as well as funerals!

Black is as perplexing as white as it represents different meanings for people, occasions and cultures. A symbol of grief, it is also preferred for formal parties with great penchant.

When the night is black, the silvery white moon illuminates it with its unique color…its emotional appeal reaches many hearts and inspires the poets!

Yellow and orange, the beautiful colors of fall, of Sun and sunshine… a symbol of love, happiness, hope and heat. They blend into the blue to create a heavenly mesmerizing scene at the beginning and end of each day.

Ironically, they are also associated with fire, denoting danger but it was fire that introduced man to new avenues of progress.

Do you know we have only three primary colors? Red, yellow and blue.

All other colors are created from the combination of these colors. They are mixed and muted to create various shades for summer, winter and spring.

Do you know colors can change our emotional responses and our appearance? They can make us look happy or sad, heavier or lighter, romantic or boring!

If you want to see a riot of colors, visit India. Some of the states like Rajasthan, Punjab and Gujarat are a living example of the brightest outfits, worn without any second thought.